June 15, 2023
31. Riding the Storms of Life, Making a Comeback! 💪🏼
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It happens to all of us, times in our life when a fierce storm comes out of nowhere and knocks us off our feet.
We can get swept away, struggling to keep our head above water to breathe.
It happened to me recently. And it was ROUGH. For awhile.
These storms, as painful as they can be, do serve a purpose though.
Let's talk about it in this comeback episode on the Heart AF Podcast.
I give you some brief insights and ah-ha's from my recent traumatic storm. And I plan to keep sharing as I navigate all of the rebuilding I am doing from the damage and destruction the storm left in its wake.
I provide some awesome questions to ask yourself for your own self reflection taken from a fabulous career coach who spoke at a retreat I went to a few weeks back. You can find her here: Career Benders
Come say Hi to me on Facebook or Instagram
Sending you all Love! ❤️
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Hey everyone.
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What's up?
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It's Chelsea Van Buskirk
with the Heart AF podcast.
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I'm so happy to be back.
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It's been a while.
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I've been a little MIA taking a break
from getting some new episodes out.
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There's been a lot going on and
it's time to break the silence.
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I've been going through quite
a bit in my personal life.
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Um, so much so that it was really
hard for me to feel like I was, good
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enough to come back on here, or, um,
feeling like I was put together enough
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to be able to get an episode out.
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Um, just because everything
was still going on.
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I was processing, things were still
very raw, and it was very hard for
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me to wanna show up in that space.
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Right?
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Um, I needed a lot of time to sit back
and reflect and process all the things
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that had just happened and things
that I was going through in my life.
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I was hit with one of these, you know,
I really, I like the idea of relating.
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My experience to a storm, because also
recently here where I live in Colorado,
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we got hit with a severe, thunderstorm,
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and, um, our house in particular got hit
with golf, ball size, hail, so we got
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quite a bit of damage with that storm.
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And I feel like the experience I had,
right at the beginning of April was
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similar to this severe storm and.
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The thing with storms like that is
sometimes they feel like they can come
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outta nowhere, and if a foundation isn't
strong, right, or maybe you know, you're,
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you haven't really quite taken care of
your home as well as you should have, or
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maybe you are taking care of your home,
but just wear and tear over the years.
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You know, things start to break
down and, they're just more easily
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damaged by a severe storm like that.
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So I think that is very relatable
as far as, you know, ourselves, our
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lives, um, certain relationships
maybe we have, or just different
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facets of our lives if we don't have
a strong foundation or if there's
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cracks that maybe we're not aware of.
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Um, just over time wear and
tear on certain aspects in our
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life that maybe we're not paying
close enough attention to, or.
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That, um, we may be neglecting things
that we didn't realize we were neglecting.
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And then that storm comes through
and it can destroy things, right?
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It can rip things up.
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It can, it can break things down, and let
them be in need of replacement or repair.
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So I was having one of these
moments where I was literally
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knocked down to my knees, right?
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Um, I felt like the floor
beneath me had just been.
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Yanked out from under me and I just fell.
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I fell flat on my face.
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I did not see it coming.
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I just, it was an earth
shattering moment for me.
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But the thing is, when we have
these moments in our life,
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there's a reason for it, right?
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And anytime you have a situation like
this where you're fully broken down
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on your knees, One, I feel like it, it
opens the door for you to reestablish
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your faith, maybe your spirituality and
where you're leaning on a higher power.
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Two, it helps you see things
maybe that you didn't see before.
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It can bring you clarity.
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It can give you an opportunity to
then take a step back and reflect
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and see where maybe these cracks were
that you didn't see., I mean, the
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biggest opportunity you're given in
this situation is a chance to rebuild.
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Right.
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You know, thinking about this storm
that my home just experienced, you know,
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we're filing an insurance claim and.
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I'm not sure exactly what all will be
covered, but it, it might be quite a bit
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like we're talking, we've got, you know,
broken windows, shattered screens, like
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our roof is obviously just demolished.
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I've got a ton of things in the
backyard that were just demolished.
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Um, you know, patio furniture, all
these things that, you know, will
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likely get replaced through our
insurance claim, which is kind of cool.
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We'll get a bunch of new stuff,
newer windows that'll probably be
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better so it'll help, keep our
house more energy efficient as far
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as like our cooling and heating goes.
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So that's a plus.
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We'll get a newer, better roof.
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Um, that'll be a better
protection for our home.
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So there's these things that we'll be
getting that will improve our home.
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Right.
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And that's kind of cool.
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So thinking of these experiences, whether
it's in an important relationship in
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your life or, some big aspect of your
life where you're kind of taken aback
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or starting to realize like where maybe
these, these cracks or the foundation.
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Wasn't strong like you thought it was,
gives you this chance to take a look
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and see what can you do to rebuild?
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Is it something that you have to, you
know, scrape, move on and start again?
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Is it something that's fixable?
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Is it something that you can
repair and build stronger?
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Um, either way, the reality
is the same where you have this
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chance to build a brand new.
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Foundation that will be stronger
and better than ever, and it gives
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you that foundation that you can
then build upon to create something.
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Even more beautiful than
you had before, right?
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Like, we're gonna get new windows
on this house, which will be better
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windows than we had before, and
now there'll be better energy
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efficient windows, they'll be safer.
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Um, you know, there's all these different
qualities and, things that we'll get
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from these new, better, improved things.
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So it goes the same way as
far as, relationships or our
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careers and our goals and really
figuring out like, What did we do?
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Not necessarily where we went wrong,
but seeing where maybe we were a
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misalignment with what we truly wanted.
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And I think that's the other
beautiful opportunity we're handed
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when we come to these moments, is we
get to take a step back to really
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reflect on what it is we truly want.
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What is it that we truly desire?
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What is truly an alignment
that brings us joy?
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Um, I talk about that a lot on previous
episodes about being, you know, In
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this space of alignment or being in
a space where you're doing something
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that does elicit joy within you, and
sometimes we can get so caught up in our
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ego space that that lower self, right.
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I've talked about that too.
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Like your ego mind is fully invested
in external validations or wanting
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to feel successful and wanting to
achieve certain things, um, that
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maybe we perceive as success.
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Like I feel like as a society too, like
there's this pressure on us, right?
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Like we're told like this
is what success means.
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Success means you have, you
know, home ownership success
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means you make a lot of money.
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Success means that you have a new car.
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Success means that, you know, whatever.
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I have designer clothes
and a designer bag.
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Like we have these ideas of what success
is based on what society is telling us.
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And I had a chance to go to a,
Retreat recently and one of the
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speakers there, I will link her
information in the description of
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this podcast cuz she was amazing.
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Her company's called Career Benders
and she does focus on, career
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coaching, that kind of thing.
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But she had a lot of really gold nuggets
in her, speech and what she had to
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share . And one of the things she
asked is, how do you define success?
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Right?
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Like, we have this idea of what
we think success is, or what
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we're told success is, but what
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really is a success to you?
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Because that's really what matters, right?
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Who the fuck cares what
everybody else thinks is success,
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but what's success to you?
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And that was something that I really had
to come to terms with and, sometimes
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when we're hit with these big moments of,
heartbreak, pain, we're given this chance
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to see where we might have had things
twisted, where we might have thought we
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wanted something because we wanted to
feel this success, but then, Come to find
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out, like really what we truly wanted
was something a little bit, deeper.
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Maybe we, we cherish more,
having meaningful relationships.
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Maybe we cherish more our relationships
with our, our kids, our spouses,
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or, finding joy within our, family.
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Um, and not so much the
external stuff, right?
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Like it's, one of those things
where you see what truly matters.
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You know, when tragedy strikes,
we usually come together.
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We're brought to see what really
matters in our lives, right?
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Like when we are faced with a loss, we
tend to then not take for granted the
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things maybe we've been taken for granted.
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And I think it's so easy.
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To just assume people are always
gonna be around to just assume
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that there's always tomorrow.
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Like I can say the things I wanna
say the next day, I can, I can say
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it next time we get together, but
sometimes there's not a next time.
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And, you know, dealing with
that can be really hard.
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It can be really hard having
those kinds of regrets.
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And, and so when we're faced
with these challenges, when we're
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faced with these losses, these
traumatic storms, right, that come
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through our lives, knock us down.
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One, it's important to, to get back up.
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I wanna say that first and foremost,
because I know there was a few
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moments when I was going through
this most recent time where it
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was really hard for me to breathe.
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Like I just really felt
like I was drowning.
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Like the waves were coming and
knocking me down and down and I was
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having trouble standing back up.
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I'm thankful that I have a support system.
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I'm thankful that, I didn't stay there
long, um, that I was able to get back up.
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Um, and standing up when you're
feeling those mass amounts of
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pain is, is very difficult.
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And so I just wanna share that with
you because I know that there's so many
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people out there who go through these
experiences and a lot of times you're
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going through these painful moments
of feeling like you can't stand up
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or you're feeling like you're drowning
and you're doing it in silence, right?
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Because.
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It's a very vulnerable position
to actually speak up and share
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when you are in these depths,
when you are feeling that low.
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You know, it's, it's
not a good place to be.
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And, and reaching out and having
a support system , is awesome.
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But also you have to let your
support system know that you're
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struggling and that you need help
And, Part of this message is I want
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to have that encouragement for you.
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If you ever feel like that, like you
have to be at least somewhat proactive
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and ask for help and reach out and
share your struggles with somebody,
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with somebody that can support you.
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That can either just be somebody
to listen, whether it's somebody
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through a religious organization.
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It could be, um, a
counselor or a therapist.
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It could be your best friend.
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It could be your, your
sibling, , your spouse, somebody.
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That you can confide in
and share, to just listen.
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Because sometimes that's all we
need is just somebody to listen
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and to just share space with us
and to let us know we're not alone.
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Um, and coming back with this
episode, I've got a lot of things
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that I would like to share over the
experience I've had as I've been
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navigating through these challenging
times and trying to reprioritize
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and figure out my life and what
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is truly in alignment with what I
want and um, what I define as success.
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Right.
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so, I really just wanted to share I'm
still here, I'm still around and part
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of me feels guilty that I haven't
gotten an episode out, um, earlier.
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You But I just really, really
needed that time to step back.
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And I think that's important to do.
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If you find yourself in a situation,
like it's okay to take a step back.
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Like we all need that sometimes to
take a pause and take those moments
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to really reel it back and really
take that time to self-reflect, to, to
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heal, to really gain clarity and, and
figure out what it is we really want.
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Figure out where the cracks were in
whatever we were doing and figuring out.
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How do I wanna move forward from here?
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How do I wanna reestablish my foundation?
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How do I wanna rebuild?
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Right?
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Cause we are always given this
opportunity to rebuild, right?
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The sun shines every day, like
I've talked about that before.
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Even when clouds, when it's
overcast and we can't see the
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sun, the sun's still there.
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And so that's kind of
what I really like to.
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Just keep that in the back of my mind
that you know, the sun is still there.
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There is still hope, there
is a chance for a new day.
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There is a chance to rebuild.
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And one of the best things about being
in this position of getting leveled
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out, being broken completely down, is
you get to build yourself stronger.
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You get to start new, you
get to figure things out.
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You can decide a whole
different way to live, right?
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Like you can really change your life.
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In the morning, right?
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Like the next day you wake up,
you can be a completely different
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person if you wanna be right.
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We get to decide every day how we
wanna live our lives and it is these
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moments, I feel like these storms we go
through that give us that opportunity to
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step back to reflect, to make a plan,
to figure out what it is we really
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want, that really brings us joy.
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What are the things
that I really wanna do?
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What are the things that I need to
do that I haven't been doing that's
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gonna get me where I wanna really go?
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Right?
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What are the things I've been doing?
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That have been wasting time or
that have been putting me down
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the path, I really don't wanna go.
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Maybe I thought I wanted to go that
direction and now I'm seeing how much
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it's taking away from what I really want.
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And so maybe now it's time I switch gears.
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It is okay to close doors.
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It is okay to say no.
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It is okay to learn that maybe what you
were doing maybe isn't a good fit anymore.
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It's okay to change your mind.
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You get to be the boss of you and
make these choices for yourself.
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So if you find yourself in a
situation, Where things are not
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working out the way you thought
they would, you're not feeling it.
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Things are going downhill.
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It is okay to take a step back and reflect
and make a plan to rebuild and start
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something new and make a different choice.
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Make a new choice.
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I wanna leave you guys with this
episode, to take a step back if you
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need to, give yourself permission
to take a pause on things.
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Okay, I'm gonna give you the two most
reflective questions I was told at this
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retreat from this woman, Angie, that
I'll, I'll link in the description here.
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These two questions really helped me out.
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And I think it'd help you out too, but
ask yourself, what is success to you?
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What is your definition of success?
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Not society's definition of success, not
what you think success should be, or what
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you were told what your parents think
success is, what is success to you, and
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really reflect and journal about that
and see if what you're doing is leading
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you to having like this successful or
fulfilling life, that's bringing you joy.
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And then the other big question that
Angie had asked us at this retreat was,
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what is one thing that you can stop doing?
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That no one would notice.
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Like, what are the things that you're
wasting time on that really don't matter,
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that you're putting time and effort
to, that aren't getting you closer to
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where you wanna go, that if you stopped
doing 'em, the world wouldn't end.
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Right?
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Like no one would notice.
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So think of those things like what
are ways that you can step back
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or what are, what are some of the
things that maybe you've been doing?
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That you really don't
need to be doing right.
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Relieve some of that from yourself.
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I have so much love for everyone that
listens to this show, and, thank you
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so much for being patient as I've
gathered things together my own life,
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and taken this pause for myself to
really figure out what's success to me.
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Um, another question that
gets asked by every coach out
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there is focusing on your why.
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Like, why you do what you do, and one
of the things that I keep coming back to
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as far as why, why this podcast, why I
wanna speak, , why I wanna get my message
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out there, why I wanna write a book.
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And really it boils down to being
able to reach, even if it's just one
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person, to make them feel not alone.
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If I give one person, um, a shift in
perspective, that brings them hope.
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Those are the things that I'm after when
I get in front of this camera and speak.
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Um, for this podcast.
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When I create these videos, when I
write a post, can I touch someone?
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Can I make them feel something?
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Can I give them hope and let them know
that they're not alone, that there's other
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people who have experienced things that
they have that might be having similar
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feelings or life experiences and that.
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They're okay that there's nothing wrong
with them and that there is a way out.
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That there is a tomorrow,
that the sun is still there.
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Right?
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That's the biggest thing that
keeps me going or that's my why.
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and I think the other piece of that
is just when I'm able to be vulnerable
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and share things with other people, not
only does that help me in my own healing
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journey, but I hope that it sparks
somebody else, to give them permission
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to maybe be vulnerable with somebody too.
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It doesn't have to be on
such a public platform, but.
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Hopefully that it gives them that
permission to, Share and, and
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start their own healing journey in
whatever that looks like for them.
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So, I'm gonna end it there,
but I'll see you guys soon.
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I've got a lot of stuff to
share with you guys after, these
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experiences I've gone through
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so I'm excited to get back into
it and to share with you guys how
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I've had this really big evolvement
and transformation in my life.
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How I really.
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Had to step back and do this reflection,
just like I've talked about here,
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and I invite you guys if you're in
that space, or even just to reflect.
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I mean, it's always good to check
in with yourself and reflect on your
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00:16:34,802 --> 00:16:38,017
life and what you're doing and making
sure, is it in alignment with you?
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Is it in alignment with what
you think is successful, right?
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Like, ask yourself those questions.
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I'll link Angie's information,
just if you wanna follow her
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00:16:44,902 --> 00:16:46,462
cause she's got great information.
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She's a great coach and, she's
got some nuggets of gold, to help
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you in your life, , or career.
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So I'll link her in the
description of this show.
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I'll see you guys soon.
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You can find me at chelseavanbuskirk.com
or on facebook or Instagram, my
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handle is @chelsea.vanbuskirk
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all right, I'll see you guys later.
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Peace.
00:00:05,616 --> 00:00:06,246
Hey everyone.
2
00:00:06,246 --> 00:00:06,696
What's up?
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00:00:06,696 --> 00:00:08,686
It's Chelsea Van Buskirk
with the Heart AF podcast.
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00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,706
I'm so happy to be back.
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00:00:11,706 --> 00:00:13,506
It's been a while.
6
00:00:13,511 --> 00:00:17,916
I've been a little MIA taking a break
from getting some new episodes out.
7
00:00:17,916 --> 00:00:21,306
There's been a lot going on and
it's time to break the silence.
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00:00:21,696 --> 00:00:24,966
I've been going through quite
a bit in my personal life.
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00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:30,734
Um, so much so that it was really
hard for me to feel like I was, good
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00:00:30,734 --> 00:00:36,884
enough to come back on here, or, um,
feeling like I was put together enough
11
00:00:36,884 --> 00:00:38,774
to be able to get an episode out.
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00:00:39,074 --> 00:00:42,584
Um, just because everything
was still going on.
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00:00:42,589 --> 00:00:46,258
I was processing, things were still
very raw, and it was very hard for
14
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:49,481
me to wanna show up in that space.
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00:00:49,481 --> 00:00:49,931
Right?
16
00:00:49,991 --> 00:00:55,691
Um, I needed a lot of time to sit back
and reflect and process all the things
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00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:59,523
that had just happened and things
that I was going through in my life.
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I was hit with one of these, you know,
I really, I like the idea of relating.
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My experience to a storm, because also
recently here where I live in Colorado,
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we got hit with a severe, thunderstorm,
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and, um, our house in particular got hit
with golf, ball size, hail, so we got
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quite a bit of damage with that storm.
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And I feel like the experience I had,
right at the beginning of April was
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similar to this severe storm and.
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The thing with storms like that is
sometimes they feel like they can come
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outta nowhere, and if a foundation isn't
strong, right, or maybe you know, you're,
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you haven't really quite taken care of
your home as well as you should have, or
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maybe you are taking care of your home,
but just wear and tear over the years.
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You know, things start to break
down and, they're just more easily
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damaged by a severe storm like that.
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So I think that is very relatable
as far as, you know, ourselves, our
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lives, um, certain relationships
maybe we have, or just different
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facets of our lives if we don't have
a strong foundation or if there's
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00:02:03,278 --> 00:02:05,043
cracks that maybe we're not aware of.
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00:02:05,283 --> 00:02:09,753
Um, just over time wear and
tear on certain aspects in our
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00:02:09,753 --> 00:02:12,153
life that maybe we're not paying
close enough attention to, or.
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00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:17,373
That, um, we may be neglecting things
that we didn't realize we were neglecting.
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And then that storm comes through
and it can destroy things, right?
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It can rip things up.
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It can, it can break things down, and let
them be in need of replacement or repair.
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00:02:27,393 --> 00:02:30,366
So I was having one of these
moments where I was literally
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00:02:30,426 --> 00:02:31,986
knocked down to my knees, right?
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00:02:32,136 --> 00:02:35,946
Um, I felt like the floor
beneath me had just been.
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00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:39,216
Yanked out from under me and I just fell.
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00:02:39,216 --> 00:02:40,416
I fell flat on my face.
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00:02:40,416 --> 00:02:41,601
I did not see it coming.
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00:02:41,601 --> 00:02:45,528
I just, it was an earth
shattering moment for me.
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00:02:45,678 --> 00:02:49,938
But the thing is, when we have
these moments in our life,
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00:02:50,418 --> 00:02:51,558
there's a reason for it, right?
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00:02:52,178 --> 00:02:56,538
And anytime you have a situation like
this where you're fully broken down
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00:02:56,538 --> 00:03:01,413
on your knees, One, I feel like it, it
opens the door for you to reestablish
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00:03:01,683 --> 00:03:05,823
your faith, maybe your spirituality and
where you're leaning on a higher power.
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00:03:06,143 --> 00:03:10,403
Two, it helps you see things
maybe that you didn't see before.
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00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:11,393
It can bring you clarity.
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00:03:11,973 --> 00:03:17,883
It can give you an opportunity to
then take a step back and reflect
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and see where maybe these cracks were
that you didn't see., I mean, the
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00:03:21,483 --> 00:03:25,323
biggest opportunity you're given in
this situation is a chance to rebuild.
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Right.
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00:03:26,543 --> 00:03:30,743
You know, thinking about this storm
that my home just experienced, you know,
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00:03:30,743 --> 00:03:32,453
we're filing an insurance claim and.
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I'm not sure exactly what all will be
covered, but it, it might be quite a bit
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00:03:36,368 --> 00:03:40,208
like we're talking, we've got, you know,
broken windows, shattered screens, like
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our roof is obviously just demolished.
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I've got a ton of things in the
backyard that were just demolished.
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Um, you know, patio furniture, all
these things that, you know, will
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likely get replaced through our
insurance claim, which is kind of cool.
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We'll get a bunch of new stuff,
newer windows that'll probably be
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better so it'll help, keep our
house more energy efficient as far
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as like our cooling and heating goes.
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So that's a plus.
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We'll get a newer, better roof.
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00:04:03,978 --> 00:04:06,138
Um, that'll be a better
protection for our home.
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So there's these things that we'll be
getting that will improve our home.
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Right.
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And that's kind of cool.
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So thinking of these experiences, whether
it's in an important relationship in
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00:04:16,531 --> 00:04:22,001
your life or, some big aspect of your
life where you're kind of taken aback
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00:04:22,001 --> 00:04:26,961
or starting to realize like where maybe
these, these cracks or the foundation.
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Wasn't strong like you thought it was,
gives you this chance to take a look
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00:04:30,978 --> 00:04:32,478
and see what can you do to rebuild?
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00:04:32,808 --> 00:04:37,308
Is it something that you have to, you
know, scrape, move on and start again?
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00:04:37,518 --> 00:04:39,408
Is it something that's fixable?
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00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:42,408
Is it something that you can
repair and build stronger?
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00:04:42,678 --> 00:04:46,168
Um, either way, the reality
is the same where you have this
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00:04:46,168 --> 00:04:48,805
chance to build a brand new.
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00:04:48,963 --> 00:04:54,453
Foundation that will be stronger
and better than ever, and it gives
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00:04:54,453 --> 00:04:58,473
you that foundation that you can
then build upon to create something.
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00:04:59,043 --> 00:05:01,188
Even more beautiful than
you had before, right?
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00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:04,968
Like, we're gonna get new windows
on this house, which will be better
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00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:07,758
windows than we had before, and
now there'll be better energy
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00:05:07,758 --> 00:05:09,438
efficient windows, they'll be safer.
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00:05:09,708 --> 00:05:12,698
Um, you know, there's all these different
qualities and, things that we'll get
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00:05:12,698 --> 00:05:15,548
from these new, better, improved things.
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00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:20,308
So it goes the same way as
far as, relationships or our
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00:05:20,308 --> 00:05:25,048
careers and our goals and really
figuring out like, What did we do?
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00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:29,421
Not necessarily where we went wrong,
but seeing where maybe we were a
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00:05:29,421 --> 00:05:31,071
misalignment with what we truly wanted.
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00:05:31,071 --> 00:05:33,471
And I think that's the other
beautiful opportunity we're handed
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00:05:33,476 --> 00:05:36,106
when we come to these moments, is we
get to take a step back to really
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00:05:36,111 --> 00:05:38,536
reflect on what it is we truly want.
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00:05:38,566 --> 00:05:41,386
What is it that we truly desire?
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What is truly an alignment
that brings us joy?
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00:05:44,896 --> 00:05:49,276
Um, I talk about that a lot on previous
episodes about being, you know, In
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this space of alignment or being in
a space where you're doing something
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that does elicit joy within you, and
sometimes we can get so caught up in our
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00:05:58,756 --> 00:06:01,936
ego space that that lower self, right.
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00:06:01,941 --> 00:06:02,806
I've talked about that too.
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00:06:02,811 --> 00:06:08,653
Like your ego mind is fully invested
in external validations or wanting
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to feel successful and wanting to
achieve certain things, um, that
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maybe we perceive as success.
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Like I feel like as a society too, like
there's this pressure on us, right?
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00:06:19,443 --> 00:06:21,843
Like we're told like this
is what success means.
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Success means you have, you
know, home ownership success
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00:06:25,273 --> 00:06:27,003
means you make a lot of money.
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00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:29,923
Success means that you have a new car.
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00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:33,043
Success means that, you know, whatever.
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00:06:33,043 --> 00:06:35,023
I have designer clothes
and a designer bag.
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00:06:35,023 --> 00:06:39,613
Like we have these ideas of what success
is based on what society is telling us.
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And I had a chance to go to a,
Retreat recently and one of the
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speakers there, I will link her
information in the description of
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this podcast cuz she was amazing.
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Her company's called Career Benders
and she does focus on, career
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coaching, that kind of thing.
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But she had a lot of really gold nuggets
in her, speech and what she had to
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share . And one of the things she
asked is, how do you define success?
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Right?
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Like, we have this idea of what
we think success is, or what
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we're told success is, but what
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really is a success to you?
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Because that's really what matters, right?
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Who the fuck cares what
everybody else thinks is success,
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but what's success to you?
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And that was something that I really had
to come to terms with and, sometimes
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when we're hit with these big moments of,
heartbreak, pain, we're given this chance
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to see where we might have had things
twisted, where we might have thought we
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wanted something because we wanted to
feel this success, but then, Come to find
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out, like really what we truly wanted
was something a little bit, deeper.
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Maybe we, we cherish more,
having meaningful relationships.
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Maybe we cherish more our relationships
with our, our kids, our spouses,
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or, finding joy within our, family.
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Um, and not so much the
external stuff, right?
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Like it's, one of those things
where you see what truly matters.
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You know, when tragedy strikes,
we usually come together.
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We're brought to see what really
matters in our lives, right?
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Like when we are faced with a loss, we
tend to then not take for granted the
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things maybe we've been taken for granted.
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And I think it's so easy.
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To just assume people are always
gonna be around to just assume
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that there's always tomorrow.
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Like I can say the things I wanna
say the next day, I can, I can say
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it next time we get together, but
sometimes there's not a next time.
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And, you know, dealing with
that can be really hard.
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It can be really hard having
those kinds of regrets.
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And, and so when we're faced
with these challenges, when we're
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faced with these losses, these
traumatic storms, right, that come
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through our lives, knock us down.
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One, it's important to, to get back up.
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I wanna say that first and foremost,
because I know there was a few
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moments when I was going through
this most recent time where it
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was really hard for me to breathe.
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Like I just really felt
like I was drowning.
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Like the waves were coming and
knocking me down and down and I was
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having trouble standing back up.
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I'm thankful that I have a support system.
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I'm thankful that, I didn't stay there
long, um, that I was able to get back up.
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Um, and standing up when you're
feeling those mass amounts of
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pain is, is very difficult.
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And so I just wanna share that with
you because I know that there's so many
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people out there who go through these
experiences and a lot of times you're
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going through these painful moments
of feeling like you can't stand up
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or you're feeling like you're drowning
and you're doing it in silence, right?
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Because.
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It's a very vulnerable position
to actually speak up and share
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when you are in these depths,
when you are feeling that low.
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You know, it's, it's
not a good place to be.
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And, and reaching out and having
a support system , is awesome.
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But also you have to let your
support system know that you're
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struggling and that you need help
And, Part of this message is I want
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to have that encouragement for you.
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If you ever feel like that, like you
have to be at least somewhat proactive
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and ask for help and reach out and
share your struggles with somebody,
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with somebody that can support you.
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That can either just be somebody
to listen, whether it's somebody
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through a religious organization.
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It could be, um, a
counselor or a therapist.
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It could be your best friend.
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It could be your, your
sibling, , your spouse, somebody.
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That you can confide in
and share, to just listen.
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Because sometimes that's all we
need is just somebody to listen
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and to just share space with us
and to let us know we're not alone.
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Um, and coming back with this
episode, I've got a lot of things
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that I would like to share over the
experience I've had as I've been
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navigating through these challenging
times and trying to reprioritize
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and figure out my life and what
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is truly in alignment with what I
want and um, what I define as success.
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Right.
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so, I really just wanted to share I'm
still here, I'm still around and part
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of me feels guilty that I haven't
gotten an episode out, um, earlier.
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You But I just really, really
needed that time to step back.
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And I think that's important to do.
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If you find yourself in a situation,
like it's okay to take a step back.
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Like we all need that sometimes to
take a pause and take those moments
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to really reel it back and really
take that time to self-reflect, to, to
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heal, to really gain clarity and, and
figure out what it is we really want.
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Figure out where the cracks were in
whatever we were doing and figuring out.
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How do I wanna move forward from here?
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How do I wanna reestablish my foundation?
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How do I wanna rebuild?
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Right?
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Cause we are always given this
opportunity to rebuild, right?
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The sun shines every day, like
I've talked about that before.
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Even when clouds, when it's
overcast and we can't see the
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sun, the sun's still there.
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And so that's kind of
what I really like to.
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Just keep that in the back of my mind
that you know, the sun is still there.
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There is still hope, there
is a chance for a new day.
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There is a chance to rebuild.
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And one of the best things about being
in this position of getting leveled
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out, being broken completely down, is
you get to build yourself stronger.
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You get to start new, you
get to figure things out.
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You can decide a whole
different way to live, right?
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Like you can really change your life.
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In the morning, right?
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Like the next day you wake up,
you can be a completely different
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person if you wanna be right.
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We get to decide every day how we
wanna live our lives and it is these
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moments, I feel like these storms we go
through that give us that opportunity to
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step back to reflect, to make a plan,
to figure out what it is we really
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want, that really brings us joy.
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What are the things
that I really wanna do?
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What are the things that I need to
do that I haven't been doing that's
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gonna get me where I wanna really go?
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Right?
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What are the things I've been doing?
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That have been wasting time or
that have been putting me down
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the path, I really don't wanna go.
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Maybe I thought I wanted to go that
direction and now I'm seeing how much
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it's taking away from what I really want.
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And so maybe now it's time I switch gears.
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It is okay to close doors.
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It is okay to say no.
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It is okay to learn that maybe what you
were doing maybe isn't a good fit anymore.
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It's okay to change your mind.
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You get to be the boss of you and
make these choices for yourself.
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So if you find yourself in a
situation, Where things are not
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working out the way you thought
they would, you're not feeling it.
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Things are going downhill.
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It is okay to take a step back and reflect
and make a plan to rebuild and start
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something new and make a different choice.
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Make a new choice.
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I wanna leave you guys with this
episode, to take a step back if you
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need to, give yourself permission
to take a pause on things.
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Okay, I'm gonna give you the two most
reflective questions I was told at this
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retreat from this woman, Angie, that
I'll, I'll link in the description here.
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These two questions really helped me out.
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And I think it'd help you out too, but
ask yourself, what is success to you?
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What is your definition of success?
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Not society's definition of success, not
what you think success should be, or what
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you were told what your parents think
success is, what is success to you, and
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really reflect and journal about that
and see if what you're doing is leading
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you to having like this successful or
fulfilling life, that's bringing you joy.
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And then the other big question that
Angie had asked us at this retreat was,
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what is one thing that you can stop doing?
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That no one would notice.
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Like, what are the things that you're
wasting time on that really don't matter,
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that you're putting time and effort
to, that aren't getting you closer to
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where you wanna go, that if you stopped
doing 'em, the world wouldn't end.
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Right?
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Like no one would notice.
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So think of those things like what
are ways that you can step back
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or what are, what are some of the
things that maybe you've been doing?
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That you really don't
need to be doing right.
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Relieve some of that from yourself.
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I have so much love for everyone that
listens to this show, and, thank you
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so much for being patient as I've
gathered things together my own life,
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and taken this pause for myself to
really figure out what's success to me.
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Um, another question that
gets asked by every coach out
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there is focusing on your why.
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Like, why you do what you do, and one
of the things that I keep coming back to
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as far as why, why this podcast, why I
wanna speak, , why I wanna get my message
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out there, why I wanna write a book.
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And really it boils down to being
able to reach, even if it's just one
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person, to make them feel not alone.
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If I give one person, um, a shift in
perspective, that brings them hope.
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Those are the things that I'm after when
I get in front of this camera and speak.
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Um, for this podcast.
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When I create these videos, when I
write a post, can I touch someone?
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Can I make them feel something?
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Can I give them hope and let them know
that they're not alone, that there's other
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people who have experienced things that
they have that might be having similar
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feelings or life experiences and that.
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They're okay that there's nothing wrong
with them and that there is a way out.
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That there is a tomorrow,
that the sun is still there.
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Right?
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That's the biggest thing that
keeps me going or that's my why.
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and I think the other piece of that
is just when I'm able to be vulnerable
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and share things with other people, not
only does that help me in my own healing
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journey, but I hope that it sparks
somebody else, to give them permission
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to maybe be vulnerable with somebody too.
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It doesn't have to be on
such a public platform, but.
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Hopefully that it gives them that
permission to, Share and, and
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start their own healing journey in
whatever that looks like for them.
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So, I'm gonna end it there,
but I'll see you guys soon.
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I've got a lot of stuff to
share with you guys after, these
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experiences I've gone through
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so I'm excited to get back into
it and to share with you guys how
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I've had this really big evolvement
and transformation in my life.
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How I really.
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Had to step back and do this reflection,
just like I've talked about here,
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and I invite you guys if you're in
that space, or even just to reflect.
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I mean, it's always good to check
in with yourself and reflect on your
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life and what you're doing and making
sure, is it in alignment with you?
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Is it in alignment with what
you think is successful, right?
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Like, ask yourself those questions.
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I'll link Angie's information,
just if you wanna follow her
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cause she's got great information.
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She's a great coach and, she's
got some nuggets of gold, to help
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you in your life, , or career.
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So I'll link her in the
description of this show.
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I'll see you guys soon.
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You can find me at chelseavanbuskirk.com
or on facebook or Instagram, my
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handle is @chelsea.vanbuskirk
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all right, I'll see you guys later.
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Peace.