25. It won’t be like this for long- A message of HOPE

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​
hey everyone.

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What's up?

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It's Chelsea Van Buskirk
with the Heart AF Podcast.

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Hope you guys are all doing well.

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I've had a lot going on, which is why
this week's podcast is coming out a

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little bit later than normal, but it's
all good because shit happens, right?

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And okay,

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there's this really beautiful
song that was actually, um, me

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and my dad's song for my wedding.

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, you know, there's the father daughter
dance and so my dad picked the song for

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our dance, and the song was, It won't
be like this for long by Darius Rucker.

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Which is actually a very, very sweet song.

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And whenever it comes on, I, of course
tear up kind of a little emotional right

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now just thinking about it because,
um, you know, it's essentially a song

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sung by a father talking about, you
know, when he first brings his new

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baby daughter home and those nights of
no sleep and you know, essentially the

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song singing won't be like this for long
because you know, then of course babies

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grow and then they become toddlers.

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And it just talks about the challenges,
you know, just as you are a parent and

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just the notion that, you know, when
you're in these moments where it feels

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like it's forever, like the sleepless
nights or you know, when they're

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toddlers and they're being a-holes like.

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, it won't be like this for long.

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Right.

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And that's kind of the, the
point of the song is that, you

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know, before you know it, you're
walking her down the aisle, right?

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Um hmm.

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Getting emotional.

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Um, and so, the song is just a very sweet
song and obviously reminds me, my dad

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because he chose it for our, um, you know,
our dance, or I should say our "roll"

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I don't know.

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, you know, for those of
you who know, my dad was a

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quadriplegic, so in a wheelchair.

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So for our dance, I sat in his lap
and he, um, you know, moved his

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wheelchair around the dance floor,
and that's how we did our dance.

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And it was actually really cool.

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Sorry.

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Um, you know, it was just a very
magical moment, I guess you could say.

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But anyway, following with that song,
I mean, it's just so important because.

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. So many times in our lives we're in
these points, right where it, things

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are complicated, things are hard, and
I think that's an important, kind of

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token to keep in the back of our minds
is that it won't be like this for long.

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Right?

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Whatever your struggle is, it's
not gonna be like this forever.

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And I think it's a great, you
know, tip, especially in parenting,

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because parenting is hard.

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It's one of the hardest jobs you do.

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And being a child, you know, having
parents yourself and watching them

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grow old and the frustrations you have
with your own parents as they're aging

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and things like that or when you have
to start taking the responsibility

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and caring for your own parents.

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Like, that's hard and there's a lot
of hard parts of that, but again, you

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know, you keep in the back of your
mind won't be like this for long.

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Um, because it's true, you know,
your kids eventually grow up and

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become independent and move out.

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Right?

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And just like our parents, like
, there comes a point where our

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parents become dependent, right?

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They need care.

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And you know, that can be a lot, um, for
an adult child to take on the care of

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a parent and children at the same time.

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That happens to a lot of people.

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Um, now in this day and age, just
because as a society, you know, uh,

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people are having kids either later
and also people are living longer.

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So our parents, you know, are
alive longer and, and, and needing

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care for longer periods of time.

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And it's just kind of where we're at,
where a lot of, um, you know, those

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of us who are in like the middle
of adulthood, we can sometimes be

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split between caring for our kids
and our parents at the same time.

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There's just a large number of that
population right now in this time period.

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.
So going back to that, so knowing you
won't be like this for long, right?

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Like, it's so important to know because
you don't wanna get stuck into these

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miserable feelings that you're feeling
right now or, in the hard things.

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And you're just kind of like
staying stuck in that moment

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of, you know, being frustrated.

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Um, and just keeping that
little, that little voice.

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And even that song, like, if you guys
wanna go and listen to that song and

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just really, you know, let those words
sink in that there is hope, right?

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Because I think that's, at the end of
the day, depending on what the situation

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is and what you are struggling with
and what you're trying to get through

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at any given moment, like we can lose
hope, and this song is a reminder of

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hope, and that's what this episode
is, is about having hope, knowing that

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things aren't gonna suck forever, right?

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Like things aren't gonna be hard forever.

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And when you look back, on times
where things were really hard, you

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begin to have a different perspective.

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It's different when you're in it.

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When you're in it, it's
hard to see, right?

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It's hard to get perspective.

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And so that's why it's really
important to kind of pause and

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reflect, to see if you can step back
and get some outside perspective.

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And knowing that it won't be like
this, and knowing that there comes a

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time where you're going to miss these
days with your young kids, you're

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gonna miss these moments with your
parents when they're no longer here.

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Right.

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and this got me thinking too about
just how, I talked about the

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hustle culture a few weeks ago.

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Right.

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And how, you know, It's like this
societal pressure that we have to like

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work hard and we have to like slay all
day and hustle hard and all these things.

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And you know, there's nothing wrong
with working hard and going after goals.

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Like I've said that multiple times.

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But again, there needs to be this
tenderness or this point where you're

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taking time to actually enjoy life.

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Right.

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And taking time to actually be in the
moment and be present and enjoy life and

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not get so caught up and always having
to do something, always having to hustle.

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And I think a good lesson in
this is also just nature, right?

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Like nature is such a big guidance system.

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It's right there in our
face every day, right?

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But we just don't take the time to
really acknowledge it, most of us anyway.

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But it has so much to teach us.

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Nature has so much to teach us, right?

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. It shows us that life goes
on no matter what, right?

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Like no matter what things, what
chaos, what traumas happen, any of

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these things that happen in our lives
that are so earth shattering and, and

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everything like life goes on, right?

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The sun still rises every day and.

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Uh, this creates seasons, right?

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Like the earth is turning, like things
are always, moving and there's, there's

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these phases and seasons to things.

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There's seasons to life, right?

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Like even in parenting, talking
about that, like, there's

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seasons of parenting, right?

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Where, you know, you have the infancy
stage where you're having to keep this

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little person alive who can basically
do nothing for themselves, right?

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Like you're doing everything
for this little baby.

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And then as they grow and they
start to become more dependent,

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like your parenting changes, right?

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You get these different
stages of parenting.

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Um, I'm at a place right now where
I've got three different stages, right?

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I still have this toddler who's
almost four, and then I have, um, my

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middle just turned 10, so she's kind
of in between that, you know, kid.

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Almost preteen, but still a kid.

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You know, she's kind of in this middle.

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And then I've got my 12 year old who's
almost 13, and she's full on preteen mode.

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Like we're in middle school.

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Like it's a whole
different ballgame, right?

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It's different phases of parenting.

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I'm in different spots.

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It's different.

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And what I wanted to elaborate with
this whole thing like this, this,

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these phases, these seasons, is.

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it's okay to take time
off sometimes, right?

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Like it's, it's okay to, you
know, hibernate and to grow and

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to plan and to do these things.

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You think about, you know, um,
farming or growing vegetables, like

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if you do a garden, you know, um,
you know there's seasons, right?

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There's like a time where you're
getting the soil ready, um, and then

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you're planting the seeds and then
when they sprout and they're ready to

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be planted, and then you water them.

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You let them grow, right?

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They're getting sunshine, they're getting
their nutrients, and they're growing.

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And you, and it has this
season of growth, right?

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So then there's this time period
of growth, and then finally you

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start bearing fruit, right?

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The vegetables and the fruits start
growing until , it's time for them to

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be like harvested and picked, right?

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that's important to apply to
our life too, because there's

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seasons, there's phases of things.

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You don't have to be, you know,
tilling the soil all year round, right?

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There's a period for that.

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There's a period for, you
know, rest and growth.

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And, and so I think that's something
that you need to apply to, like, so

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many different things, especially
when it comes to, you know, business

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and, and doing things like when we
have these goals for our lives, right?

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When we wanna change
things about ourselves.

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Like to really give ourselves this
space and also this grace to be able

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to do it in a manner that's cohesive
with whatever season we're in.

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So I can give you an example.

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In 2017, I had joined a new, um, business
building program and I was about to build

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my own online based business and it was
gonna be, um, fitness and health themed

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because, um, I had a lot of experience
with, um, dieting and, you know, I

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used to sell, um, nutrition products and
I saw just how awful I felt like this

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diet culture was, where people were just
thinking they had to sacrifice so much

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and they were, um, just extreme dieting
and just trying to live up to these

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non, sustainable ways of getting fit.

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Right.

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And so I wanted to start a business
that was all about sustainability

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and basically, Being able to enjoy
your physique and, and to be healthy

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and fit, but also live your life.

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And so that was something that I wanted
to build and, um, be a voice for that.

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And put a lot of money into a program
to help me build my business, um, and do

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this online health fitness coaching thing.

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And my dad, um, got really sick.

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he was very, very close to dying in 2017.

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, I left my home in Colorado and
flew out to, um, meet him in in

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Lubbock, Texas, um, where he had been
airlifted from his hometown in New

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Mexico because he just, he had lost
a lot of oxygen, um, to his brain.

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And so, um, I think they call it an
anoxic brain injury where essentially,

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you know, his oxygen levels were so low
that there was brief moment where he

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did not, was not getting enough oxygen.

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and anyway, so he was intubated
and he was in ICU for a very

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long time and I flew out.

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I stayed in Lubbock for
six weeks by his side.

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It was a very challenging time.

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But anyway, I'm right in the middle
of trying to start this business.

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Do you think I was like still trying to
run this business while uh, my dad's life

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was in balance and I was like fighting
for him and being his advocate in the

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hospital and sleeping in the hospital,
staying up nights and, you know, only

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resting during the day for a couple hours.

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And my uncle would come and stay in
the hospital room with him so I could,

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you know, nap and shower, whatever.

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No, like I wasn't building
a business right then.

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Right?

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Like that time was a season for me
to step in and be there for my dad.

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Right.

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I actually took a break from being with
my husband and kids in that period.

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I made a decision to be there for my
father and fight for him and be his

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advocate and, and help him re recuperate.

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And he did.

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He was able to you know,
rehabilitate and get back to life.

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Things were not quite the same after
this illness because like I said, he,

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um, suffered that anoxic brain injury.

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So, you know, somebody who was already
quadriplegic already limited and the,

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his, a lot of his abilities bounced
back, but also then had more limitations

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and, um, That was really hard for him
to, you know, come back and, you know,

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I think he was thankful to be alive,
but he also was really upset in a lot

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of ways because he did lose some of the
independence he did have previously.

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Um, you know, he already didn't have
a lot of independence in his state

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and then more of it got taken away.

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So that was a hard thing for him.

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But, you know, that's kind of another
story, but I'm just saying, you

224
00:11:02,309 --> 00:11:06,239
know, that was a season where I had
to do that and be that for my dad.

225
00:11:06,659 --> 00:11:11,549
And, um, you know, I think about to
all the weight that I had put on, you

226
00:11:11,549 --> 00:11:15,239
know, when I was grieving after he
passed, like that really wasn't the

227
00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:19,829
right time for me to start a rigorous
fitness and health routine, right?

228
00:11:19,834 --> 00:11:23,969
Like that was a time where I just
needed to focus on getting out of bed.

229
00:11:24,029 --> 00:11:26,909
I needed to focus on
taking a shower, right?

230
00:11:26,969 --> 00:11:32,356
Like I was so in the throes of grief
that I just needed to like do enough to

231
00:11:32,356 --> 00:11:33,826
just survive the day-to-day to still.

232
00:11:34,651 --> 00:11:36,181
They're available for my kids.

233
00:11:36,211 --> 00:11:38,791
And, you know, honestly, I
probably wasn't the best mom.

234
00:11:38,791 --> 00:11:42,181
In the depths of my grief, you know,
initially, like I probably wasn't

235
00:11:42,181 --> 00:11:45,234
fully present in a lot of ways but
that was the season I was in.

236
00:11:45,384 --> 00:11:48,264
Again, like this is the point I'm trying
to make, is that there's seasons of

237
00:11:48,324 --> 00:11:50,364
life that you go through and it's okay.

238
00:11:50,364 --> 00:11:52,884
That's the biggest thing I want you
to know, is that it's okay because

239
00:11:52,884 --> 00:11:58,434
you don't have to be, you know,
gunning it and going 24 7, 365.

240
00:11:58,434 --> 00:11:59,454
That's not natural.

241
00:11:59,459 --> 00:12:02,454
That's going against like the
natural rhythms of life, right?

242
00:12:02,464 --> 00:12:02,954
Like.

243
00:12:03,704 --> 00:12:08,084
, you know, there's phases of the moon and
there's phases to a woman's cycle, right?

244
00:12:08,084 --> 00:12:10,394
And like each phase is
equally as important.

245
00:12:10,634 --> 00:12:13,934
So, you know, you think of like
the season's changing, right?

246
00:12:13,939 --> 00:12:17,204
Like where, you know, winter,
that's like a hibernation period.

247
00:12:17,294 --> 00:12:21,874
That's a time for like maybe planning
and like organizing and resting, right?

248
00:12:22,334 --> 00:12:24,854
And then the spring comes and maybe
that's when you like really hustle.

249
00:12:24,854 --> 00:12:27,374
That's when you're working and
you're planting the seeds and you're

250
00:12:27,374 --> 00:12:28,694
doing, you're doing the go-getter.

251
00:12:28,694 --> 00:12:33,369
You're creating, you're doing all these
things and the summertimes when you kind

252
00:12:33,369 --> 00:12:37,179
of let it, you know, you let all your
work pay off and you get to let it grow

253
00:12:37,179 --> 00:12:40,359
and bloom, and then the fall is maybe
when you come and harvest things, right,

254
00:12:40,364 --> 00:12:44,109
where things are like snowballing, taking
action, like you're actually reaping

255
00:12:44,109 --> 00:12:46,389
what you sowed, so to speak, right?

256
00:12:46,389 --> 00:12:50,659
Like, so there's seasons to things and
no you don't have to like just, you

257
00:12:50,659 --> 00:12:53,689
know, plan and rest during the wintertime
and only work hard in the spring.

258
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:57,319
Like, I'm not saying that, but I'm
just saying use nature as your guide.

259
00:12:57,324 --> 00:13:03,854
Use it as a helpful tool to see that
it's okay to cycle things, and it's

260
00:13:03,854 --> 00:13:08,234
okay to organize your life in a way
to where you're not getting burned out

261
00:13:08,234 --> 00:13:10,394
because you're systematically having.

262
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:12,964
these phases, right?

263
00:13:12,964 --> 00:13:15,874
Like where, I mean, you can
even phase your days out, right?

264
00:13:15,874 --> 00:13:19,714
Like when you're scheduling your
time, like, you know, I rest this

265
00:13:19,714 --> 00:13:21,664
period, or I take a little break here.

266
00:13:21,904 --> 00:13:25,174
Um, this is my, this is my part of
the day where I'm most creative.

267
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:28,234
I'm most awake, so this is the part
where I'm creating and I'm doing things.

268
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:32,134
And then this is the time where I'm
more like low key and I can do more like

269
00:13:32,194 --> 00:13:33,784
data entry or things like that, right?

270
00:13:33,784 --> 00:13:38,914
Like there's ways to apply kind of
cyclical or phase thing, you know, on your

271
00:13:38,914 --> 00:13:42,424
day to day, in your weeks, like in your
months, even like when you're planning

272
00:13:42,424 --> 00:13:46,684
out your months and days, like, this
is the day that I do all these tasks.

273
00:13:46,689 --> 00:13:47,194
You know?

274
00:13:47,884 --> 00:13:49,054
So I'm just saying it's a way.

275
00:13:49,864 --> 00:13:54,154
To really reflect and look at your life
and how you can set yourself up for

276
00:13:54,154 --> 00:14:00,154
success by allowing yourself to work
in phases and taking time out when you

277
00:14:00,154 --> 00:14:02,524
need to and knowing that it's okay.

278
00:14:02,524 --> 00:14:06,394
And like, you know, if you do have to take
time off for something that's happening

279
00:14:06,399 --> 00:14:08,014
in your life right now, like that's okay.

280
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,684
Like you have to do what's
best for you in that moment.

281
00:14:10,689 --> 00:14:15,094
Like, you know, things come up and
sometimes you have to rearrange things

282
00:14:15,184 --> 00:14:16,894
because that's what you need in that time.

283
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,839
You know, you really have to think
about like, what's most important

284
00:14:20,839 --> 00:14:22,789
to you and what, what do you value?

285
00:14:22,789 --> 00:14:26,719
And, you know, I just think it's so
important to keep ourselves in check by

286
00:14:26,719 --> 00:14:30,740
having, you know, daily reflections or
weekly reflections where we're really

287
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:33,289
looking at like, what are we doing
with our time and what's useful with

288
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,449
our time and where are we giving our
energy and where should we be , you

289
00:14:36,449 --> 00:14:40,529
know, pulling back on some of the things
and, and really looking at, you know,

290
00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:42,329
where are we creating joy in our lives?

291
00:14:42,509 --> 00:14:45,864
Because I have noticed people
who, you know, are easily.

292
00:14:46,974 --> 00:14:52,684
Depressed or who easily, lose their joy
because they're just living their lives

293
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,574
day to day, just following their routines.

294
00:14:54,574 --> 00:14:55,614
And they're unaware, right?

295
00:14:55,614 --> 00:14:58,224
They're checked out, they're just
going through the motions of life,

296
00:14:58,224 --> 00:14:59,454
and they're not really present.

297
00:14:59,454 --> 00:15:02,364
They're not really there, right?

298
00:15:02,364 --> 00:15:03,864
Like they're not really living.

299
00:15:04,134 --> 00:15:08,634
And that's where we can, you know,
kind of spiral into these negative

300
00:15:09,444 --> 00:15:13,374
loops and stay stuck and just, and
depression comes more easily because

301
00:15:13,374 --> 00:15:15,594
we're in this low vibrational state
because we're not really living.

302
00:15:16,044 --> 00:15:18,804
Just going day by day, going
through the days, just going

303
00:15:18,809 --> 00:15:22,134
through the motions and just, you
know, kind of sleepwalking, right?

304
00:15:22,134 --> 00:15:23,334
Sleepwalking through life.

305
00:15:23,334 --> 00:15:26,094
Like, not really like changing
anything or doing anything.

306
00:15:26,094 --> 00:15:30,384
And, um, and there is a thing about,
um, seasonal depression, right?

307
00:15:30,384 --> 00:15:32,874
When it is more cloudy
and cold like that can.

308
00:15:33,839 --> 00:15:35,099
It can affect you, right?

309
00:15:35,099 --> 00:15:38,519
And it's so important, again, to
just be an advocate for yourself

310
00:15:38,789 --> 00:15:43,789
and to check yourself and reflect
and see like what are you doing and

311
00:15:43,789 --> 00:15:44,989
where are you going in your life?

312
00:15:44,989 --> 00:15:49,399
And it's okay if you don't have all the
answers, but it's important to check in.

313
00:15:49,399 --> 00:15:54,049
And if you're unhappy, if you're feeling
that slump and you're feeling down, you

314
00:15:54,049 --> 00:15:58,099
have to be that advocate for yourself
and pull yourself up and be proactive

315
00:15:58,099 --> 00:15:59,769
and like, what can I do to change this?

316
00:16:00,229 --> 00:16:03,434
Because I will tell you, it's
nobody else's responsibility

317
00:16:03,434 --> 00:16:04,994
to make you happy but yourself.

318
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:08,734
And that's where I think we get
into trouble sometimes, is we rely

319
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:13,214
on things or other people, or
setting goals or achievements like

320
00:16:13,214 --> 00:16:14,474
we think our happiness is based.

321
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:18,584
So when I achieve this, then I'm
gonna be happy When I complete this

322
00:16:18,584 --> 00:16:22,304
project, I'm gonna be happy When I
have a child, I'm gonna be happy.

323
00:16:22,304 --> 00:16:24,524
Like all these, I mean, it could
be anything like when I get

324
00:16:24,524 --> 00:16:25,934
this car, I'm gonna be happy.

325
00:16:26,114 --> 00:16:30,044
When I land this account, when I have this
many followers, when blah, blah, blah.

326
00:16:30,254 --> 00:16:32,204
Like, then I'll be happy, then
things will be going great.

327
00:16:32,384 --> 00:16:34,454
No things are great when
you make them great.

328
00:16:35,024 --> 00:16:37,964
You're happy when you
choose to be happy, right?

329
00:16:38,629 --> 00:16:39,974
Life's continually moving.

330
00:16:39,974 --> 00:16:42,284
The sun's rising and
setting each day, right?

331
00:16:42,284 --> 00:16:45,494
The, the moon's doing its
phases, right day in and day out.

332
00:16:45,494 --> 00:16:46,304
It's doing its thing.

333
00:16:46,304 --> 00:16:51,284
It knows its job, it's living life,
it's doing its thing, and it, the

334
00:16:51,284 --> 00:16:52,964
days are gonna pass you by, right?

335
00:16:52,964 --> 00:16:56,714
Like time is gonna pass you by
and you need to check in and

336
00:16:56,714 --> 00:16:58,034
see what's missing in your life.

337
00:16:58,034 --> 00:17:01,671
See what you can do for yourself
to bring yourself more joy, to make

338
00:17:01,671 --> 00:17:04,431
sure that you are taking control
and responsibility in your life.

339
00:17:04,611 --> 00:17:07,521
Because you get to choose
where you spend your time.

340
00:17:07,641 --> 00:17:12,121
You get to choose what you're giving
away and what you wanna do, right?

341
00:17:12,121 --> 00:17:17,131
Like you let yourself get tied up in
doing all these things that you don't

342
00:17:17,131 --> 00:17:20,101
wanna do because you're saying yes to
things that you need to say no to, right?

343
00:17:20,101 --> 00:17:21,301
We're not, setting boundaries.

344
00:17:21,888 --> 00:17:22,548
We're not present.

345
00:17:22,548 --> 00:17:24,768
If we're not present and we're
not checking in with ourselves and

346
00:17:24,768 --> 00:17:29,268
we can't articulate and set our
boundaries and do the things that

347
00:17:29,268 --> 00:17:30,828
we need to do for ourselves, right?

348
00:17:30,828 --> 00:17:33,018
We just kind of like
let things happen to us.

349
00:17:33,023 --> 00:17:36,953
This is when we let life happen to
us instead of taking control and

350
00:17:37,373 --> 00:17:38,663
being in charge of our own lives.

351
00:17:38,668 --> 00:17:38,833
Right?

352
00:17:39,323 --> 00:17:42,713
And then the, the truth of it is you don't
have anybody else to blame but yourself.

353
00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:45,623
You can't blame your problems or your
unhappiness or your depression on

354
00:17:45,623 --> 00:17:48,223
anything or anybody else but yourself.

355
00:17:48,728 --> 00:17:50,168
You have got to take control.

356
00:17:50,168 --> 00:17:55,898
You have to be your A one from day one
and, and rise up and, and do the things

357
00:17:55,898 --> 00:17:58,118
you need to do to keep moving forward.

358
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,008
And like I said, give yourself grace.

359
00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:00,878
Give yourself time.

360
00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:04,598
This does not mean that you have to
be like hustling . Like, you know when

361
00:18:04,603 --> 00:18:07,628
you're going so hard all the time,
you're not taking care of yourself.

362
00:18:08,018 --> 00:18:11,258
You're just go, go, go take a timeout.

363
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:12,698
There's seasons for a reason.

364
00:18:13,643 --> 00:18:17,123
take a breath, take a
step back, realign plan.

365
00:18:17,128 --> 00:18:21,533
Figure out how to reorganize things
to better fit your schedule, to

366
00:18:21,538 --> 00:18:25,673
better fit your life, to better fit
how you can take care of yourself

367
00:18:25,673 --> 00:18:27,443
and thrive and be successful.

368
00:18:27,443 --> 00:18:27,743
Right?

369
00:18:27,748 --> 00:18:31,613
There are ways to make things happen
the way you want them to, to go, right?

370
00:18:31,613 --> 00:18:35,783
Like there's ways to create
the life of your dreams.

371
00:18:35,843 --> 00:18:36,953
I am dead serious.

372
00:18:36,953 --> 00:18:38,703
It's so real and so possible.

373
00:18:38,708 --> 00:18:41,543
It's just that we, we doubt ourselves
and we don't believe it's true.

374
00:18:42,533 --> 00:18:43,763
and, what did I say last week?

375
00:18:43,763 --> 00:18:44,063
Right?

376
00:18:44,063 --> 00:18:46,043
Like you'll see it when you believe it.

377
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:48,593
Like you have got to have that belief
in yourself and believe that things

378
00:18:48,593 --> 00:18:53,093
are possible and believe in hope and
again, that's why I wanna come back

379
00:18:53,093 --> 00:18:54,233
to where I started with this song.

380
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:55,583
It won't be like this for long.

381
00:18:55,883 --> 00:18:56,603
If you're stuck.

382
00:18:56,633 --> 00:18:58,163
It won't be like this for long.

383
00:18:58,463 --> 00:18:59,393
You don't have to let it.

384
00:18:59,393 --> 00:19:00,443
You are responsible.

385
00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:01,193
You can change things.

386
00:19:01,198 --> 00:19:02,543
You can stand up, right?

387
00:19:02,753 --> 00:19:05,663
Like so many times you
might think you're drowning.

388
00:19:05,663 --> 00:19:09,173
And it's a small pool, and it's really
just because you're on your knees

389
00:19:09,173 --> 00:19:10,343
and all you have to do is stand up.

390
00:19:10,343 --> 00:19:12,258
You stand up and , the
water's not that deep.

391
00:19:12,438 --> 00:19:13,548
You just have to stand up.

392
00:19:14,148 --> 00:19:16,608
But if you don't stand up, you
are gonna solely drown, right?

393
00:19:16,998 --> 00:19:18,198
So stand up for yourself.

394
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:18,708
Rise up.

395
00:19:18,708 --> 00:19:19,848
Like it's so important.

396
00:19:20,088 --> 00:19:21,078
Take a timeout.

397
00:19:21,558 --> 00:19:23,028
If things are shitty right now.

398
00:19:23,478 --> 00:19:24,558
Take a deep breath.

399
00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:27,108
It won't be like this for long, I promise.

400
00:19:27,618 --> 00:19:28,248
Know that.

401
00:19:28,248 --> 00:19:31,818
Keep that hope deep inside you
because you can bounce back.

402
00:19:31,818 --> 00:19:32,868
You can rise up.

403
00:19:32,868 --> 00:19:34,278
Things can be good again.

404
00:19:35,128 --> 00:19:36,118
Take it from me.

405
00:19:36,123 --> 00:19:40,138
I mean, I know so many other people
have experienced so much other loss

406
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:41,898
and pain too, I've been there though.

407
00:19:42,318 --> 00:19:43,758
I know what it's like to grieve.

408
00:19:43,848 --> 00:19:45,468
I know what it's like to go through pain.

409
00:19:45,468 --> 00:19:46,458
I know what it's like.

410
00:19:47,298 --> 00:19:50,628
To not know if you are gonna
have a relationship like your

411
00:19:50,628 --> 00:19:52,218
life partner the next day, right?

412
00:19:52,218 --> 00:19:55,548
Like I know what it's like to have
those kinds of fears where you are

413
00:19:56,038 --> 00:19:58,128
questioning your whole life, right?

414
00:19:58,128 --> 00:20:00,778
Because of something that may have
happened or has come up, right?

415
00:20:01,228 --> 00:20:03,118
Like, I get it.

416
00:20:03,178 --> 00:20:05,398
I know what it's like to be
scared and not, you know, not

417
00:20:05,403 --> 00:20:07,978
know what's coming and it's okay.

418
00:20:08,038 --> 00:20:09,118
It's gonna be okay.

419
00:20:09,118 --> 00:20:10,438
It won't be like this for long.

420
00:20:10,438 --> 00:20:11,458
You're gonna figure it out.

421
00:20:11,458 --> 00:20:13,048
You just have to take a timeout.

422
00:20:14,753 --> 00:20:16,783
and then remember that
you do have the power.

423
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:21,853
You have the power to make changes, to
decide how you wanna live your life.

424
00:20:22,093 --> 00:20:25,873
You have the power to
choose how you feel, right?

425
00:20:26,443 --> 00:20:30,073
Like it all, it all starts with you
and your mindset and your thoughts,

426
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,233
your thoughts lead to your feelings.

427
00:20:33,223 --> 00:20:36,493
I'm here to encourage you and
to help you see that there is

428
00:20:36,493 --> 00:20:40,633
hope, and to see that it's okay.

429
00:20:41,468 --> 00:20:42,148
to take a break.

430
00:20:42,178 --> 00:20:45,268
Like you don't have to go zero
to a hundred gas on the pedal,

431
00:20:45,268 --> 00:20:47,068
like full throttle all the time.

432
00:20:47,158 --> 00:20:48,358
It doesn't have to be like that.

433
00:20:48,658 --> 00:20:50,998
Like it's a twisted world that
puts that idea under our heads.

434
00:20:50,998 --> 00:20:52,318
But that's not the way it is.

435
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,928
That is not the way plants grow, right?

436
00:20:55,138 --> 00:20:56,398
Like I'm looking outside my window.

437
00:20:56,403 --> 00:20:57,958
The trees don't have any
leaves on 'em right now.

438
00:20:57,958 --> 00:20:58,288
Why?

439
00:20:58,288 --> 00:21:00,268
Because that's, it's not
the season for that, right?

440
00:21:00,273 --> 00:21:02,578
Pretty soon the little buds
are gonna start coming out.

441
00:21:02,848 --> 00:21:03,508
Springtime.

442
00:21:03,508 --> 00:21:06,478
They'll blossom summer, we're
gonna have full trees, right?

443
00:21:07,168 --> 00:21:07,998
It's seasonal.

444
00:21:08,138 --> 00:21:13,675
It's fine to just take things as
they come and to take time to do

445
00:21:13,675 --> 00:21:15,985
things that we need to do and take
a time out when we need to take

446
00:21:15,985 --> 00:21:20,325
a time out and just realize that.

447
00:21:21,705 --> 00:21:25,320
Every stage, no matter where you're
at, is beautiful and necessary, right?

448
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:28,890
Taking time off is necessary,
resting is necessary.

449
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,410
Making sure you're taking
care of yourself is necessary.

450
00:21:31,650 --> 00:21:38,220
Like you cannot fully thrive and
be happy and joyful if you're going

451
00:21:38,225 --> 00:21:40,200
a hundred percent all the time.

452
00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:42,600
If you're keeping yourself stuck.

453
00:21:44,190 --> 00:21:47,250
Telling yourself these
negative affirmations, right?

454
00:21:47,250 --> 00:21:50,880
Like when you're like stuck in that
like depressive state, like you're

455
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,910
gonna keep yourself there until you
can pull yourself back up, right?

456
00:21:53,910 --> 00:21:56,970
Like you're gonna stay stuck
unless you do something about it.

457
00:21:57,180 --> 00:22:00,913
And it's okay to be there and
feel those feelings and be in

458
00:22:00,913 --> 00:22:02,173
the moment, but don't stay there.

459
00:22:02,293 --> 00:22:02,803
Okay?

460
00:22:03,073 --> 00:22:03,943
Let it go.

461
00:22:04,063 --> 00:22:05,833
Process it, let it go.

462
00:22:05,863 --> 00:22:07,193
Rise up, get back up.

463
00:22:07,483 --> 00:22:09,493
The sun will always shine.

464
00:22:09,823 --> 00:22:10,903
It always comes back.

465
00:22:10,963 --> 00:22:15,643
And I know if you've, if you're local here
in Colorado, we've had a shitty January

466
00:22:15,643 --> 00:22:20,983
where it's been very cold, like abnormally
cold, a lot more snow than normal and

467
00:22:21,163 --> 00:22:23,743
more cloudy days than sunshine, I swear.

468
00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:25,393
And it's, it fucks with you.

469
00:22:25,633 --> 00:22:26,983
It definitely messes with you.

470
00:22:27,133 --> 00:22:31,243
And the suns now on the forecast,
like even though it's still cold, the,

471
00:22:31,273 --> 00:22:32,743
when the sun's out, it feels amazing.

472
00:22:32,743 --> 00:22:34,633
And that sun is your hope.

473
00:22:35,023 --> 00:22:35,653
Okay?

474
00:22:35,743 --> 00:22:39,298
Even when the clouds are there the
sun's still there behind them, right?

475
00:22:39,298 --> 00:22:41,998
If you can't see the sun,
it's still there every day.

476
00:22:41,998 --> 00:22:42,898
It's still there.

477
00:22:43,258 --> 00:22:46,198
Even when you can't see it, even when the
clouds are covering it, it's still there.

478
00:22:46,378 --> 00:22:49,948
The sun is the hope, and that's what
I want you to hold onto, is having

479
00:22:49,948 --> 00:22:54,028
hope even when times get rough
and won't be like this for long.

480
00:22:54,448 --> 00:22:54,778
Okay?

481
00:22:55,318 --> 00:22:58,948
So just keep, take that to
heart, keep that in mind.

482
00:22:59,788 --> 00:23:02,638
Sending you guys all
so much love this week.

483
00:23:02,858 --> 00:23:04,358
Thank you guys so much for listening.

484
00:23:04,358 --> 00:23:05,558
I really appreciate it.

485
00:23:05,588 --> 00:23:07,568
Let me know how you're feeling.

486
00:23:07,568 --> 00:23:09,218
Did this episode speak to you?

487
00:23:09,218 --> 00:23:13,208
I wanna know, like, have you gone
through seasons in your own life?

488
00:23:13,208 --> 00:23:16,778
Have you noticed that where you kind
of take time off or maybe you need to?

489
00:23:17,048 --> 00:23:19,313
Was this an awareness check for you?

490
00:23:19,313 --> 00:23:22,553
Like were you not aware that maybe
this is something that you do or you

491
00:23:22,553 --> 00:23:24,323
need to take some time off and reflect?

492
00:23:24,683 --> 00:23:27,443
Um, did it speak to you to know
that it won't be like this for long?

493
00:23:27,443 --> 00:23:30,533
Like I would love to know and hear
back from you what your thoughts

494
00:23:30,538 --> 00:23:31,793
were on this week's episode.

495
00:23:32,063 --> 00:23:34,403
You can send me a DM on
Facebook or Instagram.

496
00:23:34,613 --> 00:23:40,053
My handle is @chelsea.vanbuskirk,
or you can find me on my website

497
00:23:40,053 --> 00:23:41,923
at chelseavanbuskirk.com.

498
00:23:42,233 --> 00:23:43,593
Thanks for listening.

499
00:23:43,593 --> 00:23:44,853
I'll see you guys next week.

500
00:23:45,183 --> 00:23:45,644
Peace.