19. Keep Your Peace - How we are choosing to spend our energy and be more discerning with our time and energy.

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Hey everyone, it's Chelsea
with the Heart AF podcast.

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Hope you guys are all doing well.

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Look, the holidays are upon us.

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It's busy, and I really wanted to take
the time to talk about how we can keep our

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peace among family gatherings and doing
all the things because we tend to feel

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like we have to say yes to everything.

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There's all these parties and get
togethers and family gatherings, um,

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kids plays, performances, class parties.

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They meet parent volunteers
for all these things.

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And it can be very overwhelming.

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It can be very draining.

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And also the holidays again,
can be a very emotional time.

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Especially if you're somebody who is
still grieving or has lost somebody.

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The holidays just bring up a lot of
emotions and frustrations, and there's

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mile long to-do lists, so you're really
just stressing out constantly, like

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there's just so much going on that
it's really easy to be overstimulated,

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to find yourself in situations where
you're overcommitted, you're run down,

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you're tired, and you're not making time
for yourself, and you're just drained.

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I'm here to tell you that
it's okay to tell people.

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Peace out, right?

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You really need to learn how to
protect your energy and protect your

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peace, because that is important
because you don't wanna show up to a

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gathering where there are people in
the room that you love, and you're

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showing up as this un cared for self.

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This self that is stressed to the
max who can't be fully present, who

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hasn't been taken care of themselves
so you're showing up as probably

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not your most lovable self, right?

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Like when you are neglecting yourself,
you are usually irritable, you're

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usually angry, you're usually closed
off, you're not present, you're not able

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to give your loved ones your best self.

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So, That's why it's important to set
boundaries and learn what you can do to

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make it through this holiday season in
one piece, and also with peace, right?

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Peace within yourself, peace
with the people you decide to be

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around, and learning how to do that
when everybody's asking for your

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attention, everybody needs you.

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And you need yourself, right?

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You need you.

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So it's time to bring it back to number
one and making sure that you're taking

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care of yourself first so that you can
do the things that you choose to do.

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And that's a big piece of this
is learning to know that you

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do have a choice in everything.

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You have a choice to say no.

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You have a choice to make compromises.

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You have a choice to cut out
toxic people from your life.

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You have a choice.

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To keep your peace.

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Okay, so let's break down what
this looks like and what we can

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do when we're in these scenarios
where we need to protect our peace.

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The first thing is really knowing
that you can say no, you are not

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responsible for other people's feelings.

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So I know a lot of times certain friends
or family members might try to guilt

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trip you into doing something right?

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Whether it's asking a favor of you,
maybe they're asking you to pick them

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up at the airport, or it could be,
um, you know, insisting that you make

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something to this gathering or that you
have to be at this certain gathering.

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It's okay for you to say no, and it's also
okay for you to not respond right away.

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So often people like to ask you
things to where you're pressured

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to wanna say yes right away.

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And I want you to practice taking
a moment that when somebody asks

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you something to really pause
and say, let me think about it.

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It's a really easy way.

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Like make that your go-to,
let me think about it.

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So you do have time to really check
out your calendar, check what other

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obligations you've scheduled for yourself.

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Like, what does your
schedule really look like?

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And see if you are actually available to
do whatever it is they're asking of you.

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Whether it's inviting you to a
dinner or inviting you to a party, or

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inviting you to come see their kids
play, or asking you to bring this

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side to an event or whatever it is.

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See if it really works for your schedule.

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And then ask yourself, is
this really something that

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you have the energy to give?

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Okay?

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Because it's okay to say no, and
it's okay to protect yourself.

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So if it's overly stress or over
cramp your schedule to go do

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whatever it is they're asking.

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You can say, no, I'm really sorry.

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I don't have time, or I'm
not available at that time.

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Not gonna be able to do that.

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I have a prior engagement.

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There's so many things that you can say
that is kind, but also sets the boundary

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that you know, no, I can't do this.

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Some people might get upset and it's okay.

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Right?

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Again, I know this can be harder with
people that we really love, like family.

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They may try to guilt trip you,
like, oh, I really wanted you to

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come pick me up at the airport.

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Or, you know, I was really
hoping you could come, I

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really wanted you to be there.

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Um, you know, oh, it's just not
gonna be any fun if you're not there.

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Those kinds of things.

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It doesn't matter.

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You are not responsible
for how they feel, okay?

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No matter how much guilt they wanna lay
on you, you do not have to carry that.

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That is not on you.

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That is them.

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They need to figure their shit out.

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It's not your responsibility to
placate them and make their happiness,

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and that's their responsibility.

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It's not yours.

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Your responsibility is keeping your
peace and keeping your happiness.

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You really have to build yourself
up and protect yourself from.

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there are so many people out there who
wanna manipulate and gaslight you and

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turn their feelings on to put it all
on you and put on your shoulders that

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it's your responsibility and it's not.

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That is not okay.

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That is not loving.

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No.

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Nope.

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Nope.

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That is toxic.

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So make sure you know that
you love yourself too, right?

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You love yourself and you are gonna
protect yourself and it's okay to say

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no, and it's okay to let them feel
however they're gonna feel about it.

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And you really just have
to let that shit go.

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You cannot carry that.

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There's kind of this energy technique
kinda like, where you can literally

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just wipe it off of your, like aura.

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If you, if you will like your energy, like
wipe that negative energy like off you.

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You can literally do these wiping
motions with your hands and that

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act, brushing it off of you really
does help kind of take whatever

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they're trying to put on you away.

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Actually, that reminds me, I do have a
YouTube video that that will be linked

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into this podcast where I'm gonna give
you some affirmations to help really

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give you that confidence and make sure
that you are affirming and deserving

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of keeping the peace and knowing
that it is not your responsibility,

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like you have to get in that mindset.

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So I've got this affirmation list for you
to really build upon that and set your

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mindset right to make sure that you are
like coming into this season prepared

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and knowing how to keep your piece.

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Okay.

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So look out for that video that
I will be posting the link to in

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the description of this podcast.

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Protecting your energy and
setting your intentions.

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If you really wanna get through this
holiday with having fun and enjoying time

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with your loved ones, set that intention.

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Set that intention with
everything you're doing.

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Like take your time.

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Like you don't need a rush.

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You don't need to buy a gift for everyone.

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Like I, I would hate when I was with
this one group of friends and this

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one woman every year was just going
on and on about how sure she is and

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how she had to buy presents for like
every single person in her family.

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And I'm sorry, but you
do not have to do that.

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If you need to say something ahead of
time to make it known that, Hey, we

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are just buying gifts for our kids this
year, or, Hey, let's do a name drawing.

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That way everybody just buys one gift.

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And everybody gets a gift, right?

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So then nobody's left out.

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So do this, especially if you're
having a get together where there's

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gonna be present exchange, do a
name drawing, like it's so easy.

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It's so simple.

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People feel like we have to buy
gifts just to buy gifts, right?

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And it's just so ingenuine and
there's no thought put into it.

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It's just you're buying crap
that doesn't really get used.

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Right?

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Like, How much have you
gotten these gifts, right?

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Where people just give you a gift
and it's nice to get a gift, right?

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But then it's something that either you
never open, you never use, or just gets

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put in a section of your house that
builds up with clutter and you end up

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giving it to goodwill or donating it or
putting it at a garage sale or re-gifting

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it, something to that effect, right?

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So really be intentional with your gifts.

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Like, yes, it's the season of giving, but
it doesn't necessarily mean things, right?

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People value your time.

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Give your time to those that you wanna
give it to and spend it with, like, don't

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feel obligated to give your time where
you know you're not gonna enjoy yourself.

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There's so many times where we run into
these, you know, negative situations

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or we are putting ourselves into
these toxic environments and we really

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don't need to, like you can say no.

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So bring me back to what I was saying at
the beginning is you do have the power.

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To choose and you have
the power to say no.

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Like no is such a magical word.

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Like it's okay to say no.

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It's okay to say, Hey, this year
we're doing an intimate Christmas

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and I wanna just spend it with
my spouse and my kids this year.

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We're gonna keep it a small family
Christmas, but hey, we can still

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visit with you on Christmas day
and do like a meal or something.

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But we wanna have Christmas
morning to ourselves.

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I mean, there's ways to set boundaries.

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There's ways to kind of
come to this compromise.

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So if there's people.

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Vying for your time or wanting you,
and you don't have that much to give,

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I want this to be the year where you
set those boundaries and you make

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compromises instead of depleting yourself
and trying to spread yourself too thin.

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By doing everything that everyone's
asking for you, like it's okay to say no.

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It's okay to come up with other ideas or
solutions to where you can come to some

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kind of compromise where you're still
able to give, you know, the family member

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maybe what they want, but also keep your
peace and get what you want as well.

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There's always this like pressure
to do what our, especially

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like our parents, right?

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There's that parental pressure where we
feel like we have to please them and we

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have to do what they want because we're
like afraid of them for whatever reason.

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But when you're an adult, I'm sorry,
you get to make your own decisions.

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Okay?

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You still love your parents, right?

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Hopefully.

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Hopefully they are showing you love.

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If it's a toxic parent relationship,
it might be time to cut that out.

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That is okay.

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But if it's a relationship that you
wanna keep, but you feel like there's

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a lot of pressure in these unrealistic
expectations that are placed on you by

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somebody that you love and still wanna
have in your life, you have to set

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boundaries, learn to say no, and learn how
to come up with compromises so that you're

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not draining yourself and compromising
on your time and your self care.

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It's just all about,
you know, communicating.

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And sometimes that can be hard and it's
hard to say no when we've never done it.

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But I just really see so many
times we come into the season where

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people are just like so stressed.

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People are assholes at the grocery
store even because everybody's in that

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state of just this chaotic stress.

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I have to do all the things and I've
gotta do this and I've gotta do that,

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and I've gotta buy a gift for this
person and all the teachers and all.

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It's like, you really don't.

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You really don't.

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You don't have to do all these
things that you think you have to do.

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It's totally fine to be low key and
focus on the people that you really care

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about and wanna spend time with, which
you know, it might not even be family.

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It could be really close friends
that have really been there for you.

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Those are people that you wanna give
your energy and your time to, right?

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Because time is something that you
can't get back, and time is precious.

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So you really do need to be more
mindful of what you're spending your

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time on and making sure that you are

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you know, setting yourself up to
spend your time where you wanna

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spend it and cutting out the
things that don't really matter.

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So, you know, if your friend asks
you to come see her daughter's play,

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it doesn't take away how much you
care for them if you don't go right.

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Like, you don't, don't feel like you
have to do all these things, right?

229
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Like, it's okay to say no.

230
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It's, it's okay to say
sorry I can't make it.

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It's totally fine.

232
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Setting time for yourself.

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This is another big thing,
is you really have to make.

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That you set aside time for yourself and
making sure you're still taking care of

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yourself, making sure you're blocking out
your schedule and time to, you know, take

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a walk by yourself or making sure that
you're having time to still like journal

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and be by yourself or, you know, making
sure you can go run an errand by yourself

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or you're not like trying to micromanage
a bunch of people like running errands,

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you know, with kids especially, you
know, that is like a nightmare of running

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errands, especially with small children.

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So, you know, setting aside time blocks
to where you can run some errands where

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while you know you're on your lunch
break or while your kids are still at

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childcare school or asking a friend or a
spouse or, um, a family member to watch

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00:12:12,630 --> 00:12:15,420
your kids while you go run an errand
by yourself and, you know, take your

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time and have a coffee or, you know,
Find resources and find ways so you're

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not adding extra stress and really just
making sure that you are taking the

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time to take care of yourself and asking
yourself, what do I really wanna do?

248
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Like maybe you wanna have a lazy
day where you're just baking.

249
00:12:35,490 --> 00:12:39,120
Goodies with your kids in the kitchen
and you don't wanna go to like a party.

250
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,750
You don't have to go to a party
like say no, like it's totally fine.

251
00:12:42,755 --> 00:12:44,819
Like don't feel obligated to like that.

252
00:12:44,819 --> 00:12:46,170
You have to make an appearance.

253
00:12:46,319 --> 00:12:51,480
Don't feel obligated to volunteer for
your kids, you know, winter party,

254
00:12:51,510 --> 00:12:56,069
like buy a package of cookies at the
store and send them with your child.

255
00:12:56,069 --> 00:12:59,040
Like, I mean, you can find ways
to minimize the work you have

256
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,240
to do and minimize your stress.

257
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:01,410
Like it's totally fine to.

258
00:13:02,205 --> 00:13:06,495
Low key and you know, low stress about
stuff like, I think it's just ridiculous

259
00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:09,585
when we just really try to meet these
unrealistic expectations or feel like

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we have to make homemade all these
things or make gifts for everybody.

261
00:13:13,455 --> 00:13:16,905
You're making sure we go out and get
every teacher a gift, like No, honestly,

262
00:13:16,910 --> 00:13:21,195
you can go buy like a package of like
Starbucks gift cards that like $5 each.

263
00:13:21,585 --> 00:13:22,395
Hand those out.

264
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,005
Like it's super easy, like you really
don't have to overcomplicate it.

265
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:29,895
I'm all about efficiency and
getting things done, and again, only

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00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:32,175
doing things that you feel called
to do that you really wanna do.

267
00:13:32,205 --> 00:13:36,855
You shouldn't feel obligated to give
your kids teachers presence, but if

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00:13:36,855 --> 00:13:39,885
you feel like you want to because you
appreciate them and you wanna show your

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00:13:39,905 --> 00:13:44,040
appreciation, Then find something that's
gonna be really easy for you to do.

270
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:47,160
Again, like the gift card thing,
or just writing a little note.

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00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,610
Like sometimes just writing a handwritten
note, like taking like 30 minutes

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00:13:50,850 --> 00:13:54,960
and getting a stack of like cards
from the dollar store or whatever.

273
00:13:54,965 --> 00:13:57,870
And just like taking a time to
just say thank you to the teachers.

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00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,370
Like that is meaningful, right?

275
00:13:59,370 --> 00:14:00,450
Like there's so many different.

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00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:03,910
Things that you can do that's not going
out, and just like trying to figure out

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00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,439
what the best gift is for everybody.

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00:14:05,740 --> 00:14:09,550
Um, a handwritten note I feel like goes
a long way for many people that you

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00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:11,380
may wanna give a gift to this season.

280
00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:17,740
Again, I really just want to reiterate
that you can say no, that you have

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00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:23,260
choices that, um, you need to protect
your energy and protect your peace.

282
00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:26,230
Like sometimes that means
cutting toxic people outta your.

283
00:14:27,015 --> 00:14:30,824
I know it's a hard thing to do,
but let me tell you, your peace and

284
00:14:30,824 --> 00:14:32,535
your wellbeing is totally worth it.

285
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,175
Like I've had to block family members.

286
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,865
Um, this year it was a very hard
choice, but I knew that that's what

287
00:14:38,865 --> 00:14:41,204
I had to do to protect my energy
because I just wasn't gonna get

288
00:14:41,204 --> 00:14:43,334
dragged down by these toxic people.

289
00:14:43,814 --> 00:14:45,255
I just, I didn't need that, right?

290
00:14:45,255 --> 00:14:47,685
Like, I don't need to be dragged
into their drama and whatever they're

291
00:14:47,685 --> 00:14:50,745
dealing with, I let them know like,
Hey, when you're ready to face the

292
00:14:50,745 --> 00:14:54,870
truth and ready to deal with, Is
actually going on instead of just lying

293
00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:56,340
about it and causing all this drama.

294
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,800
I'll be here for you when you're
ready to like work on that, but

295
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,130
until then, I don't have anything
else to say and the person just.

296
00:15:03,359 --> 00:15:06,810
Wanting to attack me and like
bring me down and trying to

297
00:15:06,810 --> 00:15:08,310
just, just overly dramatic.

298
00:15:08,310 --> 00:15:10,979
And I just was like, like I, I didn't
even say anything back after that.

299
00:15:10,984 --> 00:15:12,540
It's like I already said my
piece and I blocked them.

300
00:15:12,569 --> 00:15:13,380
I'm not dealing with it.

301
00:15:13,439 --> 00:15:13,740
Right?

302
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:15,870
Like, I don't, I don't
need to take on your stuff.

303
00:15:15,870 --> 00:15:17,310
I've got my own shit to worry about.

304
00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:17,910
So, goodbye.

305
00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:18,959
Like, good day, sir.

306
00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:19,829
And that's okay.

307
00:15:19,834 --> 00:15:21,689
You can do that with
family members or friends.

308
00:15:21,689 --> 00:15:24,270
Like if there is somebody who
is eating away at you and eating

309
00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:25,410
away at your piece, like it's.

310
00:15:27,915 --> 00:15:29,385
To cut the them outta your life.

311
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,455
Um, there's different
ways you can do that.

312
00:15:31,455 --> 00:15:36,435
So if somebody is trying to push your
buttons, maybe they are questioning you

313
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:41,355
or being passive aggressive with you, like
maybe you are trying to change and trying

314
00:15:41,355 --> 00:15:44,475
to stand up for yourself more and set
these boundaries like I'm talking about

315
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:49,275
and you're saying no, and you know, you
are trying to come up with compromises and

316
00:15:49,275 --> 00:15:54,075
you are using your power to make choices
and people are gonna be resistant to that.

317
00:15:54,075 --> 00:15:57,930
They like the old you, they like the you
that they can walk all over and that they

318
00:15:57,930 --> 00:15:59,670
can get what they want from you, right?

319
00:15:59,670 --> 00:16:02,699
And when that starts changing,
they're gonna start challenging you.

320
00:16:03,089 --> 00:16:06,060
When people challenge you, when they're
pushing your buttons and trying to get

321
00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:10,319
under your skin and trying to create
a reaction outta you, again, I wanna

322
00:16:10,319 --> 00:16:12,510
let you know you have the power, right?

323
00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:17,189
Don't let them take your power by
getting all riled up and upset about it.

324
00:16:17,189 --> 00:16:17,550
Right?

325
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:23,595
Take a breath, pause and either take
time to respond or don't respond at all.

326
00:16:24,185 --> 00:16:25,515
You owe them nothing.

327
00:16:25,515 --> 00:16:29,295
You don't have to explain yourself if
they are really just trying to put you

328
00:16:29,295 --> 00:16:32,925
down or question you, or if they're
trying to say things to you that are

329
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,025
having you question and doubt yourself.

330
00:16:35,505 --> 00:16:37,485
You need to excuse yourself.

331
00:16:37,485 --> 00:16:41,145
You need to cut ties with this, and it
doesn't mean that you're necessarily

332
00:16:41,145 --> 00:16:45,045
blocking them or cutting them out of
your life forever, but there are ways

333
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:48,795
to handle yourself so that you're
not getting all upset and frustrated.

334
00:16:49,165 --> 00:16:51,745
It's okay to not respond.

335
00:16:51,765 --> 00:16:54,645
So let, if it's not a face to face
confrontation, let's say they're texting

336
00:16:54,645 --> 00:16:59,685
you or maybe they're calling you and don't
answer, right, don't answer the call,

337
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,515
you don't have to respond to their text.

338
00:17:01,725 --> 00:17:05,145
Or you can take some time and maybe
think of a way to respond to them

339
00:17:05,444 --> 00:17:09,915
in a kind manner or to give them
a general answer where you're not

340
00:17:10,365 --> 00:17:13,244
responding to what they're trying
to get you to respond to, right?

341
00:17:13,244 --> 00:17:15,685
Like you're avoiding that confrontation.

342
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,040
Or I should say, you're not engaging
with how they're trying to challenge you.

343
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,500
You're not engaging with how
they're trying to pick a fight

344
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,520
with you, essentially, right?

345
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,869
Like you do not have to fight with them.

346
00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:25,980
This is not a fight.

347
00:17:25,984 --> 00:17:30,540
This is you choosing yourself, choosing
to love yourself, and choosing to give

348
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:37,169
yourself peace rather than showing
up by being this drained, stressed.

349
00:17:37,870 --> 00:17:38,230
Person.

350
00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:42,850
You don't like to be like, you want to
enjoy this season with the people that

351
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:47,050
you love, and that means saying no and
choosing where you spend your time.

352
00:17:47,050 --> 00:17:51,460
And when people wanna challenge you and
make you feel bad, that's their problem.

353
00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:54,580
That's them like going through
whatever they need to process.

354
00:17:54,585 --> 00:17:57,280
They, you don't have to deal
with that, that is not yours

355
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:58,660
to figure it out for them.

356
00:17:59,895 --> 00:18:02,264
So again, you can ignore them.

357
00:18:02,564 --> 00:18:06,885
You can take some time and respond
more thoughtfully in a neutral manner.

358
00:18:07,574 --> 00:18:11,534
You can do what I call, like, let's
say it's an in-person confrontation.

359
00:18:11,534 --> 00:18:13,574
Maybe they're like trying
to like attack you.

360
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:16,514
It's a technique called gray rock.

361
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,635
So gray rock means you're not showing
emotion, you're standing your ground.

362
00:18:19,635 --> 00:18:24,284
So there was a situation where this
happened with somebody once and I had set

363
00:18:24,284 --> 00:18:25,855
some boundaries and they didn't like it.

364
00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:30,060
They were like trying to talk circles
around me and trying to intimidate me.

365
00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:31,320
And I just stayed neutral.

366
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,050
I just stayed doing what I was doing.

367
00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:36,150
You know, they were trying to
interrupt me and engage me,

368
00:18:36,155 --> 00:18:37,650
and I just did not engage back.

369
00:18:38,130 --> 00:18:39,150
I just stood my ground.

370
00:18:39,155 --> 00:18:42,390
I didn't react, like I
didn't give my power away.

371
00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:45,480
It wasn't a time for me to like, you
know, scream back and like, you know,

372
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,420
they were trying to say things to hurt
me and I just kind of stayed focused

373
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,690
on whatever I was doing in that moment
and not giving them that attention.

374
00:18:51,690 --> 00:18:53,850
And eventually they stopped.

375
00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:54,300
Right.

376
00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:54,600
And.

377
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,830
It was later they approached me, we were
able to have a more adult conversation

378
00:18:58,830 --> 00:19:01,110
about it and get to a solution, right?

379
00:19:01,110 --> 00:19:05,790
So there are people who might try to
try those tactics and stay in your power

380
00:19:05,794 --> 00:19:09,360
and know that you don't have to give
in to those emotions or frustrations.

381
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,209
And sometimes that can be really
challenging and hard, and I would

382
00:19:12,209 --> 00:19:18,060
like to challenge you to really take
control and stand your ground and

383
00:19:18,060 --> 00:19:21,360
stay in your power, and let's say it
does elicit some emotions for you.

384
00:19:21,629 --> 00:19:26,100
If you can do your best to just like,
not show the person in the emotion that

385
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:30,149
you're having this like confrontation or
conflict with, and then excusing yourself

386
00:19:30,149 --> 00:19:34,409
to a bathroom or somewhere private where
you can then, you know, cry or scream

387
00:19:34,415 --> 00:19:35,790
into a pillow or whatever you need to do.

388
00:19:35,790 --> 00:19:39,120
Just be like, you know, to let out the
actual emotions you are feeling and then

389
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,500
reminding yourself, that this is them.

390
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:42,330
This is not you.

391
00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:44,520
And you don't have to
give that to them, right?

392
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:48,750
Like you losing your cool, you losing
your temper and snapping at them and then

393
00:19:48,750 --> 00:19:53,160
going on the defense, like that's throwing
all the power back into their court.

394
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:57,210
Keep the ball in your court and stand
your ground and stay calm and neutral.

395
00:19:57,300 --> 00:20:00,900
And the best way I think to do that is
really to practice these affirmations.

396
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:04,889
And again, I'm gonna send you that in the
description of the podcast for you to get

397
00:20:04,889 --> 00:20:08,100
that YouTube video where you can learn
these affirmations, say them again in

398
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:11,340
your head, like recite them and get them
in your head to change your mindset to

399
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:16,110
know that this is, this is for you, this
is for your peace and making sure that

400
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:21,295
you're able to give yourself a peaceful
and stress free, or as stress free as

401
00:20:21,295 --> 00:20:25,045
possible Holiday season where you're
in control, you get to call the shots.

402
00:20:25,315 --> 00:20:29,695
You get to schedule the ti your time, how
you see fit, how you don't have to take

403
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:34,945
on anybody else's emotions or expectations
that you can really just focus on

404
00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:40,675
what you need and being more conscious
and mindful of where you're spending

405
00:20:40,895 --> 00:20:43,735
your time, where you're saying, yes.

406
00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:47,760
What you're giving your time to, like
what's you're scheduling for yourself,

407
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:52,860
making sure that it syncs up and aligns
with where you really wanna be with,

408
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:56,100
where you really wanna spend your
time and energy so that you're really.

409
00:20:57,495 --> 00:21:03,525
Recouping like the benefits of being
able to keep that peace within you.

410
00:21:03,525 --> 00:21:08,505
And not only that is when you show up
to these events and gatherings as your

411
00:21:08,505 --> 00:21:13,215
peaceful, like joyful, bright self because
you are making time for your self care

412
00:21:13,215 --> 00:21:16,035
and you're not overextending yourself.

413
00:21:16,215 --> 00:21:20,625
You're gonna show up as this lighter,
more beautiful, like peaceful

414
00:21:20,685 --> 00:21:23,595
version of yourself that people
are gonna be like attracted to.

415
00:21:23,595 --> 00:21:27,465
And it's also gonna help other
people around you calibrate to this

416
00:21:27,470 --> 00:21:29,475
more delightful and peaceful state.

417
00:21:29,685 --> 00:21:34,170
So you taking care of yourself and
setting your boundaries and creating

418
00:21:34,175 --> 00:21:38,250
this peaceful space around you is
really like a gift to others as well.

419
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:39,750
So we're talking about gift giving.

420
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:43,410
I mean, what better gift to give people
than the gift of peace and light?

421
00:21:43,530 --> 00:21:48,330
You being the light and being peaceful
is gonna help others around you calibrate

422
00:21:48,330 --> 00:21:50,160
and be in that state of mind as well.

423
00:21:50,165 --> 00:21:53,640
So it's something that you're giving to
other people by you giving to yourself.

424
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,810
So keep these things in mind.

425
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,870
Check out the YouTube video where
I give you that affirmation, and I

426
00:21:58,870 --> 00:22:02,380
hope you listen to it, get it into
your head so that you can repeat

427
00:22:02,380 --> 00:22:06,160
those mantras and empower yourself
and get into the right mindset to

428
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,590
keep your peace through this season.

429
00:22:09,070 --> 00:22:12,370
I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend.

430
00:22:12,670 --> 00:22:17,380
Let me know on social media if you
took any great tips from this episode.

431
00:22:17,939 --> 00:22:21,780
Um, find me on Facebook or Instagram
@chelsea.vanbuskirk please let

432
00:22:21,780 --> 00:22:26,129
me know what you took away, what
was helpful, what was not, and

433
00:22:26,129 --> 00:22:27,570
I will see you guys next week.

434
00:22:28,260 --> 00:22:28,889
Peace.