13. Everything Happens for a Reason Part 2- The ripple effect of our experiences

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Hey everyone, what's up.

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It's Chelsea VanBuskirk
with the Heart AF podcast.

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Hope you're all doing well.

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This is a followup from last week's
episode, everything happens for a reason.

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So here we go.

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Part two.

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I really wanted to take the time to
elaborate even further just on my

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own journey and my own experience.

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Just how honestly, every single moment
in your life has this ripple effect of

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everything it touches for the future.

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Right?

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Like everything you're
going through right now.

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If you're in any kind of
transition at this very moment.

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I need you to open your mind and realize
that, you know, five years from now,

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what is your life going to look like
once you get through this transition?

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Going through a change, transitioning.

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That's always hard.

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Like you, you think about,
the butterfly, right?

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That it wraps itself in a cocoon.

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Like when you're in this moment of
transformation going from what you

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used to be to what you want to be.

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There's going to be pain.

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And a lot of times you do
have to cocoon yourself.

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You have to really work hard at keeping
yourself, in solitude in a lot of ways,

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and trying to block out any external
noise, to really keep yourself focused.

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So you can keep moving forward and
working on yourself to make that

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transition so that you can push
yourself out of that cocoon and become

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that beautiful butterfly and get
to this joyous moment in your life.

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And I think I ended the
last podcast on that.

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Just I'm in this amazing
space in my life right now.

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Like I have come through the depths
of darkness, there's been a lot that

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I've gone through to get to this
point, but I am thankful for everything

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I've gone through to get me here.

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Because I wouldn't be at this level
of joy at this level of feeling free

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and being able to confidently be more
myself and be speaking on this podcast,

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like all these things that I had to go
through to get to this point, to this

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moment where I'm doing what I love.

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Like that is so amazing.

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And I know my journey's not over.

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I know there's many
transformations ahead of me, right?

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Like I know that if I want to keep
leveling up in my life, like each

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time I level up, there's going to
be this change that's involved.

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There's going to be this need to
go through another transformation,

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which means doing hard things.

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It means seeing hard truths, it
means healing things that are

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stubbornly, unhealed within me.

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Right.

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I spoke about that , on a few
episodes, being triggered and going

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through, some more trauma from my
childhood that needs to be resolved.

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Right?

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Like there's always going to be
things to improve and work on.

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So the work's never over.

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Right.

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But It's getting through those tough
moments and then coming to a new leveling

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up process that brings you to these
moments where you're experiencing

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full joy, and you have that energy
for life and you're enjoying life more

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and things become a little bit easier.

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Like it's easier for you to get
back to that space where you are in

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that high vibe state of mind, right.

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I've talked about it before, like raising
your vibe, raising your energy, and

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reaching for those feel good feelings.

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I actually just created, a
playlist that if you want to

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grab, it'll be on my website.

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Where you can put in your email
and download my high vibe playlist

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over 70 songs that I chose that
really help get you in the mood and

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pump you up and raise your energy.

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Like if you're feeling low, you
listen to a few songs and get into

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the music, sing the lyrics, feel
the beat, like move your body.

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It'll help you raise your energy.

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It'll help raise your vibe.

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It'll help boost your mood.

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It's so amazing how music
can be that powerful.

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So I've got that playlist for you.

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But moving forward, I just want to
talk about this ripple effect of

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things and people that you encounter
in your life that get you to have these

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transformations throughout your life.

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And it's some things that might seem
insignificant in the time that you're

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meeting or interacting with people.

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But later on, as life progresses, you
see how that ripple effect of meeting

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that one person changed your entire life.

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And I want to speak about my
experience and opening up to you

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about some things that I formerly was
very self-conscious talking about.

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I was very, afraid of speaking my
truth of being vocal with the things

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that I learned and felt true for me.

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And I just wanna have a little disclaimer
here that just because I believe

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certain things or certain things feel
true and right to me, does not mean

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that it has to be the truth for you.

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Like you're entitled to your own
perceptions, how you want to see and view

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the world, how you view your spirituality.

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I never want to knock anybody
for what they believe.

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I think everybody's entitled to their
own perceptions, their own views.

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Everybody has a frame of reference of what
they think and what they believe based

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on what they know at that given time.

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Right.

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And as you learn, and
open your mind and expand.

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You might change your mind, or you
might come into new perspectives

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and new views and that's okay too.

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So wherever you're at in your journey,
I never want to make people think

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that I think their views are wrong.

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I don't, and I don't think that
my views are the only right way.

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This is just my view, through
my experiences, what I've come

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to learn and know for myself.

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And what's true for me.

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So please keep that in
the back of your mind.

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But I do welcome you to keep an open
mind on some of the things I say that if

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it does spark you to explore different,
ideas or views, see how it feels to you.

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I always like to tell people, you
can know what feels right for you.

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Like if you really want to know and
listen to your body and learn to listen

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to your intuition and try to figure it out
what's the best choice for your higher

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self, your intuitive self, that piece
of you that's connected with the divine.

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Things can get twisted and you don't
really know, like what's the best choice

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for my highest self and the way to
really figure that out is listening to

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your body because your body is actually
a great communicator and letting you

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know, what is really true to your
soul, what is true to your divinity?

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If you're thinking about doing something
and you feel very tight, cold, it feels

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very resistant, there's this hardness or
if you tense up, when you think about it.

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You can think about this
in relationships too.

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Like, do you tense up when you think
about spending time with that person?

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Do you feel uncomfortable
and it feels wrong.

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It's like a negative feeling, right?

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Like it just feels tight and constrictive
and, pressure then you know that that's

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probably not, what's in best alignment
for your highest self, but if it's

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something that makes you feel relaxed,
like you feel excited, you feel warm,

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you feel, loose you're comfortable.

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Then you know that's a decision or
you're around somebody that is meant

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for your highest self that's really
gonna, affect you in a positive way.

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So that's a way to listen to your body.

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But moving forward with my story about
getting to this place where I'm living

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my purpose, like when I was first
struggling as a stay at home mom and

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really just feeling like I didn't really
know what I was doing with my life.

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I always wanted to be a mother.

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I wanted to be the
mother that I never had.

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but being a mother for
me was very isolating.

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I had no friends, I didn't
have a huge support system.

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Like I had no family around.

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My dad lived in a different state
and so I saw him as often as I

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could, but still, my day-to-day
life, I felt like alone, you know?

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And one of the ways that I started
getting myself out there is I

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joined a network marketing company
and I had a great time doing it.

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I was very passionate about that.

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I built a lot of amazing
relationships and friendships

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that I still hold till this day.

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This is something I started in 2012.

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So over 10 years ago is when
I first started that journey.

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And I mean, I was in it for a good
four or five years, really hustling

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and building a team and making great
money and feeling that independence and,

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really thriving on that achievement and
feeling like I was making a difference

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in helping people and things like that.

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So that was a great time in my life.

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And you become Facebook
friends with people, so you

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watch people over the years.

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And so as I started going through
different things there was a time

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of my life where, my relationship with
my husband was in a very awful spot.

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I was spiraling in a negative way.

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I think it started with postpartum
depression and I never really

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quite fully recovered from that.

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I found myself trying to gain control
of my life by getting into bodybuilding.

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So that was one thing that I did.

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And I can talk about that experience at
another time, but, essentially I got

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really serious with that was very strict
with my diet and manipulating my body.

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And that was a sense of control
in my life when everything else

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was so chaotic and just horrible.

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And at that time I had really
let my anger get out of control.

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And it led to me finally seeking out
help and going to anger management.

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And so I was put into some
one-on-one counseling and then a

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group anger management program.

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And through that process, I was
really starting to see where I had

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these wounds that needed healing.

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This was the first start to
my self healing journey.

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And through that process, I saw this girl
that I used to do the network marketing

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company with, and I saw that she was a
psychic medium and I was very curious

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and interested in that line of work.

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I had seeked out other mediums
to try to connect with my mom.

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So my mom passed in 2009 before I
had kids, it was a very traumatic

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passing, she suffocated on her own
vomit, and that's how she passed.

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Like she, was under the influence, fell
asleep, and was vomiting in her sleep

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and suffocated, like that's how she died.

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Anyway, I always felt like because
the last year of her life, me and

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my mom's relationship was very Rocky.

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Like there was a lot of
things that were unsaid.

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There was a lot of fights, I was
curious, like I was brought up

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with a variety of different faiths.

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I never had a faith That I was
raised in consistently, like I had a

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grandmother who was a devout Catholic,
so I would go to church with her.

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I would go to church with different
friends, growing up and, you know, there

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was Baptist church, Lutheran churches.

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I had friends that were in
latter day saints and I would

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go to events at those churches.

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Like I knew a lot of different
people and my grandmother on my mom's

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side was an assembly of God church.

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And I got to see a whole
variety of different variances

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of this Christian faith.

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So I was concerned that,
because my mom died, for drug

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related causes, I didn't know.

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Like, did she go to heaven?

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Is she in hell?

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Like what's going on?

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You know, in the afterlife,
like where is she?

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Right.

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Like I had those questions.

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I had these unresolved issues with her.

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So I sought out mediums to get
mediumship readings to see if they

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could connect with my deceased mother
to see if I could find some kind

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of, Validations on where she was.

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Is she okay?

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Can I communicate with her?

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Does she have anything
she wants to say to me?

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I feel like she should want
to tell me, she's sorry.

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You know, like she owes me an apology.

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There was all these things, right?

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And so I had seen a couple local
mediums and never really got

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the answers I was looking for.

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Like never once had my mom come up.

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And so, I saw this girl that I knew
through my network marketing company.

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Come out as a medium.

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And she was doing, these
Facebook live readings.

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And I was like, oh my gosh, I
want to book a reading with her.

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And I can't tell you how
much my life has changed.

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From her readings and it started off with
one and no, my mom did not come through.

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She eventually did.

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And I can get to that in another
episode about why the timing of that

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happened the way it did, because
again, Everything happens for a reason.

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Everything happens in divine timing.

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The way it's absolutely meant to.

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What I've learned is, we all
have free choice, so we all

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have decisions we can make.

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Like if you think about our life as
like a line from the time we're born

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to the time that we're you know, to die.

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And this is like our highest self
ourself that's connected with the divine.

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And this is like our low self, or
those low energies, the ego self.

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This is where, addictions, like
jealousy, fear, anger, depression, like

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all those low energy kind of feelings.

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This is like the lower path, right?

234
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:46,240
So we make choices in our life that
either bring us higher or lower.

235
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,080
And so even though we all have this
kind of mapped out, like ending point,

236
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:54,430
because we have free will, we can decide
which trajectory we go along this path.

237
00:10:54,510 --> 00:10:56,910
And so sometimes we can
end ourselves early.

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Right.

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00:10:57,510 --> 00:11:00,400
Because we have freewill, like
things can happen, or we can make

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00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:01,920
choices and bring ourselves higher.

241
00:11:02,510 --> 00:11:06,470
And experience this greatest
joyful life we can have, right?

242
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We all have learning experiences.

243
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,170
And usually all the things we go
through in our life are meant to get

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00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,440
us back to reconnect, to come to this
higher place, to learn the lessons

245
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:15,520
we're meant to learn in this life.

246
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:18,710
There's a lot of stuff there and I've done
a lot of research and a lot of studying

247
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:20,450
through this whole journey of mine.

248
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:23,828
To learn more about purpose
and why we're here, right?

249
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When you start asking those
existential questions.

250
00:11:25,898 --> 00:11:29,348
And because I did not have a consistent
faith to help me with these questions

251
00:11:29,348 --> 00:11:32,318
where a lot of people might have answers
to these questions through their faith

252
00:11:32,638 --> 00:11:34,188
or religious groups that they belong to.

253
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Right.

254
00:11:34,848 --> 00:11:36,858
I got to experience all
these different varieties.

255
00:11:36,858 --> 00:11:39,128
And so I always had a lot of
questions and I always felt there

256
00:11:39,158 --> 00:11:40,628
was a lot of conflicting information.

257
00:11:40,628 --> 00:11:42,038
Like nothing really felt right.

258
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:47,348
So there was this inner knowing
inside me that I just I felt that.

259
00:11:47,348 --> 00:11:50,058
And even through college, I was
a behavioral science major, so I

260
00:11:50,058 --> 00:11:53,808
did a lot of sociology, history,
anthropology, psychology classes.

261
00:11:53,808 --> 00:11:57,508
So a lot of study of people, and
studying how groups work and how

262
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,978
the mind works and things like that.

263
00:11:58,978 --> 00:12:02,158
And I took one class that was the
anthropology of religion, and it really

264
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:06,388
went into the details of all these
different groups and civilizations

265
00:12:06,388 --> 00:12:09,238
through like the beginning of time and
how there were so many similarities

266
00:12:09,238 --> 00:12:10,588
between all these religious groups.

267
00:12:10,668 --> 00:12:13,098
And for me, that sat right, because I
always felt like there was this kind of

268
00:12:13,098 --> 00:12:17,508
universal, like truth or this universal
knowing when it came to a higher power.

269
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And that it just seemed to me, this was
my own opinion, that I came to know

270
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:22,378
through my own experiences, my own lens.

271
00:12:22,648 --> 00:12:25,858
But it felt to me, like there was so many
similarities between all these faiths.

272
00:12:26,098 --> 00:12:28,608
It just seemed like everybody had
their own perspectives on them.

273
00:12:28,758 --> 00:12:29,988
But it was the same thing.

274
00:12:29,988 --> 00:12:33,168
Like I remember they had a seminar in our
high school about the Islamic religion,

275
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and it was talking about their faith,
I was like, holy shit, this sounds a

276
00:12:36,018 --> 00:12:39,978
lot like Christianity to me, like, so
many of the things were very similar.

277
00:12:39,978 --> 00:12:41,818
So, there's all these instances.

278
00:12:41,818 --> 00:12:44,968
Even in art history, when you're going
through the history of art and artworks

279
00:12:44,968 --> 00:12:47,688
was very intertwined with faith, right?

280
00:12:47,688 --> 00:12:50,358
Like even the cave paintings and things
like that, they're all intertwined with

281
00:12:50,358 --> 00:12:54,048
the stars and peoples civilizations,
and this higher power stuff.

282
00:12:54,048 --> 00:12:54,348
Right.

283
00:12:54,428 --> 00:12:56,948
So, again, this is my perspective
on just seeing that there's a lot of

284
00:12:56,978 --> 00:12:59,048
commonalities in different faiths.

285
00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:02,298
So trying to figure out what my own
faith is and what I believe in and

286
00:13:02,388 --> 00:13:05,178
what feels right to me and listening
to that inner knowing within myself.

287
00:13:05,178 --> 00:13:09,348
So as I was getting these mediumship
readings and it was in these readings

288
00:13:09,528 --> 00:13:12,438
that I started to gain clarity
about myself and my own healing.

289
00:13:12,438 --> 00:13:16,608
Like she was the one that directed me
to do some EMDR therapy that helped me,

290
00:13:16,738 --> 00:13:20,368
with a lot of the traumatic memories
I had, around my mom, because I was

291
00:13:20,368 --> 00:13:24,011
so sure that a lot of my anger was
coming from my issues with my mom.

292
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:29,991
And, that gave me an opening to see
that it was really the abandonment I

293
00:13:29,991 --> 00:13:32,571
felt and this unworthiness inside me.

294
00:13:32,761 --> 00:13:36,571
Anyway, it was these readings and these
spiritual counseling sessions I had

295
00:13:36,571 --> 00:13:39,601
with her that led me to realize A lot
of the pain that I'm going through,

296
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,911
like I've always had this calling,
like I've always felt unfulfilled.

297
00:13:41,911 --> 00:13:43,541
Like , I was meant for something more.

298
00:13:43,961 --> 00:13:44,981
I just feel it.

299
00:13:44,981 --> 00:13:45,851
I just know it.

300
00:13:45,851 --> 00:13:48,608
And the more I was learning about myself
and the more that I was learning, how

301
00:13:48,608 --> 00:13:52,838
much of my life I'd been living as this
caged person who is a chronic people

302
00:13:52,838 --> 00:13:57,678
pleaser, always just not listening to
myself, and doing things and saying things

303
00:13:57,888 --> 00:14:00,288
based on how other people perceive me.

304
00:14:00,288 --> 00:14:04,028
Like this huge need of needing
to feel accepted because of this

305
00:14:04,028 --> 00:14:07,448
old wound of unworthiness and
abandonment I held as a child.

306
00:14:07,478 --> 00:14:08,558
And it was still going on.

307
00:14:08,558 --> 00:14:12,638
And so going through the anger management,
doing these mediumship readings, like

308
00:14:12,638 --> 00:14:16,538
all led to these changes in this growth
in my life that led me to know that I

309
00:14:16,538 --> 00:14:23,288
wanted to help other people overcome these
feelings of unworthiness, overcome this

310
00:14:23,468 --> 00:14:27,908
fear of actually being themselves and
coming to self-acceptance and coming out

311
00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:30,998
strongly and confidently as themselves
in their relationships and in their

312
00:14:30,998 --> 00:14:33,068
families, because that can be hard to do.

313
00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:37,088
Like sometimes we cage ourselves with
trying to fit these molds we think we have

314
00:14:37,088 --> 00:14:41,208
to be that are laid out by our parents
or our family groups or our religious

315
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:43,338
groups or whatever communities we're in.

316
00:14:43,338 --> 00:14:45,588
Like, we feel like we
have to fit these molds.

317
00:14:45,588 --> 00:14:47,718
And the truth of it is we don't.

318
00:14:48,018 --> 00:14:49,128
We really don't.

319
00:14:49,398 --> 00:14:55,618
It is not anybody else's responsibility
or, power to tell us who we have to be.

320
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,148
Like, it is on us.

321
00:14:57,178 --> 00:14:58,828
You get to decide who you want to be.

322
00:14:58,858 --> 00:15:00,748
Who do you feel like you are?

323
00:15:00,798 --> 00:15:06,168
You are allowed to explore and figure
out who you really are without those

324
00:15:06,168 --> 00:15:11,538
constructs of a societal pressure or a
religious pressure or a familial pressure.

325
00:15:11,568 --> 00:15:17,478
I feel like that's what those early
adult years are really for self exploring.

326
00:15:17,478 --> 00:15:22,578
And I think as we grow as a society,
more and more people are coming to know

327
00:15:22,578 --> 00:15:24,648
that and are giving themselves that time.

328
00:15:24,648 --> 00:15:28,038
Like we're seeing a lot of women waiting
till later years to have children and

329
00:15:28,038 --> 00:15:31,458
settle down in relationships because
they're now taking the time to figure out

330
00:15:31,488 --> 00:15:33,458
actually who they are as an independent.

331
00:15:33,771 --> 00:15:37,561
Aside from who they are as a partner
and figuring out, what they want in

332
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,781
partnerships and things like that.

333
00:15:38,811 --> 00:15:42,014
So, as the years are going on,
I'm in real estate, which I really

334
00:15:42,014 --> 00:15:43,464
don't like, it's not my jam.

335
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:44,634
It's not what I want to do.

336
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:47,544
I'm doing it because it was a
suggestion by my husband because

337
00:15:47,544 --> 00:15:48,684
we invest in real estate.

338
00:15:48,684 --> 00:15:51,294
So it was like, one of us should
get our license and it's like,

339
00:15:51,294 --> 00:15:52,554
that's not what I want to do.

340
00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:53,814
That's not where my passion is.

341
00:15:53,814 --> 00:15:54,894
I love helping people.

342
00:15:54,924 --> 00:15:55,914
That's always been number one.

343
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:59,154
So I was able to use real estate
as a vehicle to help people.

344
00:15:59,154 --> 00:16:03,034
And it did help me build relationships
that I cherish, people that still help

345
00:16:03,034 --> 00:16:04,804
encourage my growth to where I am today.

346
00:16:05,084 --> 00:16:07,334
I started on this journey of
wanting to do this podcast.

347
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:10,054
2020 was the year I was
like, I'm getting out of real

348
00:16:10,084 --> 00:16:11,554
estate, I'm starting a podcast.

349
00:16:11,584 --> 00:16:12,964
I want to help light other people up.

350
00:16:12,964 --> 00:16:17,584
That was my mission to use my light, to
use the way that I've lit myself up by

351
00:16:17,584 --> 00:16:22,144
growing in my self confidence, by growing
in my self worth, to be able to light

352
00:16:22,144 --> 00:16:26,130
other people up, like to spread that
light and spread that confidence out.

353
00:16:26,130 --> 00:16:29,220
So people know that it's okay
to learn to love yourself.

354
00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:35,580
It's okay, to let go of the guilt and
it's okay, to take care of yourself first.

355
00:16:35,770 --> 00:16:39,100
It is a disservice to your family,
to other people when you don't put

356
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:42,130
yourself first, I hate when people
try to make you feel selfish.

357
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,160
It's not selfish to take care of yourself.

358
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:48,320
And I will keep fighting to make
it known to help people know that

359
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:53,030
it is not selfish to take care of
yourself and figure out who you are.

360
00:16:53,270 --> 00:16:55,850
Because it's a disservice to
the world if you don't get to

361
00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:57,500
show your true, authentic self.

362
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:02,150
So as I was growing in my spiritual
counseling readings, like I was really

363
00:17:02,150 --> 00:17:06,010
getting into different ideas that I had
never even known like this whole world I

364
00:17:06,010 --> 00:17:11,350
never even knew was available to me or I
was aware of, but the more I kept digging

365
00:17:11,350 --> 00:17:16,090
and the more I kept reading and learning,
it just opened up all these new things.

366
00:17:16,090 --> 00:17:20,320
And from this friend, she really opened
that door for my, own unique gifts

367
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:24,250
to come through because I've always
known I was a very empathetic person

368
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,290
and a highly sensitive individual.

369
00:17:26,290 --> 00:17:30,010
And because of that, it's easier
for me to open up to those higher

370
00:17:30,010 --> 00:17:31,630
energies and be more receptive.

371
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,240
It started off with me
getting trained in Reiki.

372
00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:37,780
I went all the way up to master
teacher in energy healing.

373
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,300
It's a beautiful healing art
that helps heal your energy.

374
00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:44,090
And if anybody's interested, who's
doesn't know about that kind of stuff yet.

375
00:17:44,390 --> 00:17:46,250
I can go into details on
that in another episode.

376
00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:50,660
But going to that led into me
doing an intro to mediumship class.

377
00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:53,300
So then I did an intro to mediumship
class where I got to work on my

378
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:54,550
psychic and mediumship abilities.

379
00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:56,070
Which was great.

380
00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:59,550
And then from there I was invited
to do a psychic mediumship

381
00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:01,480
certification track with this group.

382
00:18:01,550 --> 00:18:05,360
We met weekly, we did practice
readings and we really helped heal

383
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:06,530
each other, we did group meditations.

384
00:18:06,530 --> 00:18:10,340
It was so beautiful and it was so
healing for myself and It gave me the

385
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:14,330
chance to really figure out some of
the things that I wanted in my life.

386
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:18,140
And it was scary because I felt like
I was going up against my own family.

387
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,500
And this caused some tension in my
marriage too, because I was so afraid,

388
00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:23,450
like, is my husband going to leave me?

389
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:24,590
Because I believe these things.

390
00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:26,040
And I don't know if he's open to it?

391
00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:28,400
It was really hard for me to
feel comfortable enough to even

392
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,000
come out about what I was doing
in my room every Tuesday night.

393
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,520
Like these mediumship classes, and
I would try to tell him about it.

394
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,770
And he wanted to be supportive,
but he didn't understand it,

395
00:18:36,890 --> 00:18:37,970
which was fine at the time.

396
00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:38,990
Cause I was like, that's okay.

397
00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:40,190
You know, he doesn't
have to understand it.

398
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:43,960
And I think even to this day, he doesn't
completely believe a lot of the things

399
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,050
that I have done or that I experienced.

400
00:18:47,050 --> 00:18:49,690
And I even would share some
of the readings I received and

401
00:18:49,690 --> 00:18:51,650
just oh my gosh, can you believe
that they picked up on this?

402
00:18:51,650 --> 00:18:53,830
And I don't think he really
believes it quite yet.

403
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,100
and that's okay.

404
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,510
And so finding that confidence
to speak my truth and speak about

405
00:18:58,510 --> 00:18:59,710
these things that I was doing.

406
00:18:59,710 --> 00:19:02,740
And then when I went to a couple
in-person healing sessions and then

407
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:06,850
at the end of the psychic mediumship
certification course, I had to do an

408
00:19:06,850 --> 00:19:09,680
intensive in person three-day testing.

409
00:19:09,820 --> 00:19:11,200
I was really excited about it.

410
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,360
I felt really great, and I
really thought that's where I

411
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,710
was going to go with my work.

412
00:19:14,710 --> 00:19:18,130
That I was going to become somebody
that did psychic and mediumship readings

413
00:19:18,130 --> 00:19:20,740
and card readings and things like
that, along with the energy healing.

414
00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:25,420
And it's crazy how things turn out
because everything felt really great a

415
00:19:25,420 --> 00:19:29,580
week later when I, got my testing results
back because you get critiqued by all

416
00:19:29,580 --> 00:19:31,440
the people that you, give readings for.

417
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,840
My teacher had told me, you know,
everything looks great, you're

418
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,090
good to go on the psychic part,
but on the mediumship, you need

419
00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:37,260
to work on your confidence.

420
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:39,630
I need you to do five more
practice readings before I can

421
00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:40,410
give you your certification.

422
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,830
So I remember that night, I booked
two more practice readings, got them

423
00:19:43,830 --> 00:19:45,480
recorded, and I just had three more to go.

424
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,990
And the very next day, my dad
went into the hospital where

425
00:19:48,990 --> 00:19:50,280
he died a few days later.

426
00:19:50,340 --> 00:19:52,380
And my world just crumbled.

427
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,870
And I never really went back to the
mediumship thing, cause it was really

428
00:19:54,870 --> 00:19:57,600
hard for me to get to that space
because now my dad was in that space.

429
00:19:57,990 --> 00:20:02,010
And the thing is, people who can tap in
and do readings for other people, it is

430
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:07,590
really hard to do readings for yourself
because you have this layer of emotion.

431
00:20:08,130 --> 00:20:10,470
And that emotion can become like a block.

432
00:20:10,590 --> 00:20:14,100
So even though I can sometimes feel
when my dad's around me, I feel the

433
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:18,360
signs he leaves me, I write letters
to him, and sometimes I get things

434
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,670
in my head where I know that's
him like saying something to me.

435
00:20:20,670 --> 00:20:22,680
It's different from when you're
doing a reading from somebody

436
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,390
else, because you're not attached.

437
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,547
Like you can look at it objectively
because as a medium and a psychic

438
00:20:27,547 --> 00:20:30,957
reader, you're basically just a
telephone, you're the interpreter, right?

439
00:20:30,957 --> 00:20:33,597
Like you're playing charades
with whatever they're allowing

440
00:20:33,597 --> 00:20:34,947
you to see at that given moment.

441
00:20:34,987 --> 00:20:37,837
I know people have a lot of questions
and curiosities about how mediumship

442
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:38,857
works and things like that.

443
00:20:38,857 --> 00:20:43,247
And I can get to that in another episode
but really, I just wanted to finish this

444
00:20:43,247 --> 00:20:47,987
with the ripple effect of what happens
just by, me making that connection

445
00:20:47,987 --> 00:20:52,226
with this one woman in a network
marketing company 10 years ago led to

446
00:20:52,286 --> 00:20:53,786
everything that's unfolded since then.

447
00:20:53,816 --> 00:20:57,096
And, you know, I think my dad
dying when he did, I believe that

448
00:20:57,096 --> 00:20:58,086
everything happens for a reason.

449
00:20:58,086 --> 00:21:00,046
So I feel like the timing was
when it was supposed to happen.

450
00:21:00,546 --> 00:21:03,216
And I needed to go through
that grieving experience before

451
00:21:03,216 --> 00:21:04,386
I could launch this podcast.

452
00:21:04,436 --> 00:21:07,856
I always knew I wanted to speak and
do these things, but I wasn't ready.

453
00:21:07,856 --> 00:21:11,306
I didn't have all the lessons I needed
yet to be able to start this journey.

454
00:21:11,486 --> 00:21:15,006
So it's like now that I've had, that
grieving process, now we have this other

455
00:21:15,006 --> 00:21:17,346
layer to relate to other people on.

456
00:21:17,346 --> 00:21:21,056
That grief of my dad, that
was the worst of the worst.

457
00:21:21,056 --> 00:21:23,966
That was the biggest,
significant loss in my life.

458
00:21:24,326 --> 00:21:25,546
And it still is to date.

459
00:21:25,546 --> 00:21:29,036
And I know there's things to come that
I'm going to have to go through, but

460
00:21:29,186 --> 00:21:32,996
I feel like I needed to get through
that grieving process before I could

461
00:21:32,996 --> 00:21:35,996
really launch this, before I could
really get into writing my book before

462
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:40,156
I could speak clearly enough, and
have everything together to be able

463
00:21:40,156 --> 00:21:42,916
to teach other people and relate to
other people on all these other things.

464
00:21:42,916 --> 00:21:44,226
Like I needed this stuff to happen.

465
00:21:44,746 --> 00:21:48,286
Everything happens for a reason, the
good, the bad, the ugly I'm telling you.

466
00:21:48,676 --> 00:21:49,966
I'd really love to hear your feedback.

467
00:21:49,966 --> 00:21:55,036
On this episode, I really talked about
a lot of heavy and intimate topics.

468
00:21:55,196 --> 00:21:59,126
I want to stress that everybody's entitled
to their own beliefs and perceptions.

469
00:21:59,126 --> 00:22:00,856
I'm just speaking from my point of view.

470
00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:06,186
But I would love to hear any feedback or
any questions you may have, or if there's

471
00:22:06,186 --> 00:22:10,726
anything you'd like to add about your own
experiences with mediumship readings or

472
00:22:10,946 --> 00:22:14,776
if you've had an inner knowing that you
felt or ways that you've listened to your

473
00:22:14,776 --> 00:22:19,816
body, your intuition on certain decisions
you've made or about your transformation.

474
00:22:19,816 --> 00:22:21,556
Like I love hearing about
your transformation.

475
00:22:21,636 --> 00:22:25,366
Please know, you can find me on my
website at chelseavanbuskirk.com

476
00:22:25,566 --> 00:22:28,296
you should find a space there to
get that playlist I talked about.

477
00:22:28,326 --> 00:22:32,826
I also now have a, um, online women's
group, if you're interested in that,

478
00:22:32,826 --> 00:22:34,716
you can find that on my website as well.

479
00:22:34,926 --> 00:22:39,516
Or you can find me on Facebook or
Instagram @chelsea.vanbuskirk would

480
00:22:39,546 --> 00:22:41,076
love to hear from you, send me a DM.

481
00:22:41,406 --> 00:22:43,176
Other than that, I'll
see you guys next week.

482
00:22:43,416 --> 00:22:44,076
Peace.